The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of.
~Charles H. Perkhurst
Love has so many faces and forms. If we are truly willing to look, we see it everywhere, as it is the undeniable essence that shines through everything. When we drop our beliefs, concepts, and expectations, when we make the space to see clearly, separation falls away, and love meets itself infinitely.
The Myth That Love is Limited
But some of us live in the illusion that love is limited. We barely let ourselves feel it, and we dole it out like it’s our last few crumbs of bread. We live in poverty of love – believing we need to get in order to give. We stash it away, bringing it out on special occasions only.
We are afraid of not having enough, so we keep score, making sure the balance sheet is even. We offer love gingerly, like a miser hiding his precious coins.
Recently, a friend was speaking about his wife. “I care even if I don’t show it,” he said. In my book, this doesn’t fly. Why keep love secret? Why keep the other guessing, wondering, “Does he?” or assuming he doesn’t. What’s the problem with shouting it from the mountaintops?
And how many of us ration love when it comes to ourselves? We move through life running an inner dialogue of self-criticism and defeat. We deny ourselves the joy and delight that is rightfully ours. We fail to see the beauty all around us.
Ways We Protect Ourselves
Love is our natural state. In the truth of non-separation, it reflects itself everywhere. But many of us learn to protect ourselves. Is this you? We wall ourselves off when:
- We feel bruised and battered from life, having forgotten love;
- We are afraid of letting ourselves be vulnerable;
- We fear loving without making sure it will be returned;
- We feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or exposed.
Somehow we convince ourselves that it is OK to hold a grudge or treat ourselves poorly. It feels normal to ration love.
Yet something inside feels off. We feel alienated, alone, isolated, unfulfilled. We are only half alive, and something seems to be missing. It’s the disease of our modern world, the illness of believing we are separate.
Recognizing Love in All Directions
Well, here is the medicine: don’t ration love.
- If you have built up walls within yourself, reflect on them with great compassion, and consider breaking them down.
- Realize the strength in vulnerability.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Be uncompromising in telling the truth. You won’t be able to deny love.
Love is the very essence of life. It is the gilded yarn interwoven into the fabric of existence. It is you.
Make the choice to not ration love, and see what happens. It already permeates every cell of your being. Drink it in and breathe it out. Your life will be transformed, I promise you.
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.
~Rumi
Do you ration love? Are you a recovered love rationer (like me)? I’d love to hear…
