Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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In Love with Life

“Just know that you are above and beyond all things and thoughts. What you want to be, you are it already. Desire nothing, for you lack nothing. The very seeking prevents you from finding.”
~Nisargadatta Maharaj

If you look closely, you’ll see that the mind always tells you there is something wrong with this moment.

It tells you that what’s happening is not as it should be and that something needs to change. It draws you into believing you’re not good enough and need to figure out how to fix yourself. It says that people should be doing something different than they are actually doing.

The mind almost always inclines to the negative. It will tell you that the peace you really want is “out there,” available at some future time
if only you knew how to find it, if only you weren’t such a mess, if only you read the right book or watched the right video.

When we live in this “if only” mindset, how can we feel anything but sad, alone, and anxious? Because our present moment experience is defined by lack and inadequacy.

Caught in the mind’s grip, we think we’re missing what we need to be happy. And we’re disconnected from the love and freedom available right now.

Isn’t this how most of us live?

Thankfully, there is a solution to this problem of lack, and, no matter what you believe, true happiness is actually possible. But the compulsive mind won’t help you know it—you need to look outside the mind.

What’s amazing to realize is that in every moment there is a sacred choice.

  • We can believe our thoughts—or take a breath.
  • We can think about a better future—or open lovingly to what’s happening right now.
  • We can stay stuck in the rut of robotic patterns—or shift to expanded consciousness and relax into infinite possibilities.

I am absolutely in love with the experience of being present. I love the sensitivity of being alive to feelings and sensations. I love feeling the tenderness of emotions and the deep relationships that are possible without fear and defensiveness.

And I love the spaciousness—the timeless, formless energy of pure being—that holds everything with total acceptance.

Sure, we could all be gripped by conditioned patterns if we want to be. But things get interesting once we fully understand that a choice is possible. We wake up into being conscious in the moments of our lives.

We feel into the limitation that patterns bring us. We become aware of how much the mind judges ourselves and others. And we answer the call of the heart into something greater.

Thoughts are limiting—and awareness is vast and infinite. Thoughts are repetitive and negative—and directly engaging with life reveals unlimited possibilities.

It doesn’t matter how many times you miss the opportunity to choose—because there is always another one. Every moment is so fresh, so alive!

Turn toward yourself and away from your thoughts. Step into the fullness of the present, the boundless space of being aware.

Then open to whatever you encounter with the deepest welcoming and an overflowing heart. This is what I love, and I’m sure you will love it, too.

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Bringing Ease to Your Present Moment Experience

“Open your heart to who you are, right now,
Not who you would like to be.
Not the saint you’re striving to become.
But the being right here before you, inside you, around you.”
~John Welwood

If there’s one thing I wish you knew, it is this: it’s possible to bring ease to your present moment experience.
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Sure, you can get caught up in fearful stories and go on in your mind about what shouldn’t have happened. You can doubt yourself endlessly and analyze every little detail about you and everyone else.

You can judge, compare, and dramatize everything. And this is what most of us call normal life.

But in any moment, we can shift our perspective. Yes, it’s possible!

  • We can take a breath and get a timeout from all the thinking.
  • We can watch thoughts floating through the space of open awareness rather than being hooked into their content.
  • We can experience life through the aliveness of our senses instead of through the veil of the thinking mind.

We can be caught up in stories
or be with things as they are with spaciousness and ease.

We’re programmed to resist our experience. Without even realizing it, we’re incredibly harsh with ourselves. Have you noticed? We tell ourselves:

  • You shouldn’t feel like that.
  • You failed again at finding peace.
  • You’ll never improve.
  • You’re worthless and unlovable.
  • You got stuck with a bad lot in life.

How can we possibly be at ease when we’re feeding thoughts like these?

My friend, Amy, woke up one lovely weekend morning with a strong feeling of agitation. She had a list of things to do, and this feeling was interfering. She tried to push through it in every way possible, only becoming more and more frustrated with herself.

She wasn’t at ease with her present moment experience, and it was stressful for her. Can you relate? I know I can.

What about shifting to a kinder way of being—a way that brings ease to our present moment experience?

  • You say, “Oh, hello feeling. Yes, this is what is here right now.” You stop the fight with your own experience.
  • You focus on the sensations of a slow and deep conscious inhale and exhale. Why not try it right now?
  • You expand your attention beyond any thoughts and feelings to the space around them. You’re open like the sky rather than being trapped in clouds.
  • You invite yourself into being present with what’s here.
  • And you take action from a place of love and care—and not from expectations or obligations.

We don’t need to change or fix one single thing to be at ease with our present moment experience. We don’t need to create better thoughts or banish feelings.

We’re only asked to be kind and friendly with whatever we’re experiencing. And that simple shift changes everything.

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The Heart and Soul of Self-Compassion

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
~Buddha

Our true nature is endless peace, beyond space and time, and pure aliveness. And it’s beautiful to explore this truth directly.

But if you’re like me, sometimes we have very human experiences of getting caught in old stories and limited ways of thinking about ourselves.

We feel sad, angry, frustrated, unworthy, jealous, or shameful, and it doesn’t feel good.

At times like these, it can help immensely to practice self-compassion as a way home to peace.

We’re all good people, right? We care about others and know how to treat them with support, acceptance, encouragement, kindness, and love.

Self-compassion is about meeting our own experience with this same love and care.

Many of us are conditioned to turn against ourselves. In our minds, we belittle and criticize our bodies, our creative ideas, our choices, and our actions.

And when waves of emotion visit, we want to fix, change, and avoid—anything but let these tender experiences be as they are. We often feel like we’re just not doing it right.

Self-compassion is the healing balm that helps us weave the fragments of ourselves back together. And here is where we discover our essential wholeness that was always who we are.

We start practicing self-compassion by turning our attention toward whatever we’re experiencing in the moment. We slow things down so we can consciously feel what’s here. Why? Because it’s here for our loving attention.

We stop fighting with our feelings and instead stay open to lovingly receive what appears. And whatever it is, we welcome like our long lost child coming home.

By being kind to what arises, we’re attuned to ourselves. We acknowledge what’s happening; we have our own back—which is exactly what these tender parts of ourselves are longing for.

And practicing this deep self-acceptance over time, we start to find a safe base within that we can return to any time—our harbor in the midst of any storm. We slowly trust again.

We practice self-compassion first with a willingness to be kind to ourselves—because I know you know that self-judgment is stealing your happiness. Then, turning inward, we’re curious about what we find.

  • What sensations are appearing in your body?
  • What thoughts are in your mind that are telling you negative, distorted stories about who you are?
  • What emotions want to be seen by you?

Simply this heartfelt noticing is a supremely kind act.

And here are some other ways to be self-compassionate:

  • We breathe with one hand on the heart and one on the belly—softening into ourselves, being our own best companion.
  • We arrive back to the present moment using our five senses. What do you hear, see, smell, taste, feel? This is what’s real right now.
  • We see how the inner critical voice undermines us, and we become a coach to ourselves instead. What can your inner coach say to support you?

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Once there’s space from the prison of your inner negativity, you get to listen deeply within. What is your inner aliveness saying to you? What wants to be born in you? What is itching to be expressed?

Then you find the courage to let the truth of you be known.

Bringing kindness within is the path that will light up the way


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Ending the Inner War of Resisting Your Experience

resisting your experience“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
~Carl Jung

It’s our natural, awakened state to resist nothing.

When the illusion of separation is seen through, there’s simply the free flow of experience continually welcoming everything.

There is no threat, no fear, and no sense of a person who needs to avoid or defend. It’s effortless.

But add in human reactions, fears, desires, and expectations, and the world divides into the duality of inner and outer, acceptable and unacceptable—otherwise known as human suffering.

If you want to know the luminous peace of your true nature, then get to know how and when you resist.

What is resistance? It’s an activity of the agitated mind that says a resounding, “NO!” to your present moment experience. It’s a desire to cling to some experiences and push others away—a desire for things to be different than they are.

Take a moment to reflect:

  • What feelings do you resist?
  • Where in your life do you say no to what’s actually appearing?
  • Where do you want or expect things to be different than they are?

Someone wrote to me recently saying she hates the the way she feels when she wakes up in the morning, with too much tension and too many worrisome thoughts.

Hating your experience is resisting, and resisting is a recipe for feeling stuck.

You’re locked in a fight with what’s happening, leaving no room for the experience itself to shift or move. Resisting energizes the experience rather than giving it the liberating space it needs to come and go without attachment.

We’re masters at resisting our experience. How do you resist? Here are some possibilities:

  • Compulsive behaviors such as overeating, excessive use of alcohol or drugs, excessive shopping, texting, or gossiping
  • Being too busy or preoccupied to be present with your experience
  • Recycling thoughts of worry, judgment, complaining, or blame
  • Resenting how you feel
  • Waiting for or hoping that things will change

The common motive behind all of these behaviors is to keep you from relaxing with your present moment experience. How can you possibly know the peace of your true nature if your own experience is an enemy?

What’s the alternative?

You make the sacred choice to stop the outward momentum, slow things down, and lovingly turn inward. Things now have space to shift as you create a new and loving relationship with what arises.

Instead of hating what’s happening, you’re friendly, open, and curious. You let things be as they are. You become the welcoming presence that ends the inner war with your experience.

Why not try it out so you know how it feels? Simply go inward and say a warm and loving hello to any thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that are present. Breathe and stay


The mind quiets as the one who wants to resist starts to fall away. With no attention to the story in your thoughts, you’re one with what appears, loving it with a warm embrace like a long-lost child coming home.

And here you are as awakened awareness
radiant, open, and resisting nothing


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The Story Is Extra

story is extra“The greater part of human pain is unnecessary.It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.”~Eckhart Tolle

Several years ago, I ran into a friend who had just finished a month-long silent meditation retreat.

I asked her how it was, and as she pointed to an imaginary banner across her forehead, she said, “If there’s one thing I learned, it’s ‘the story is extra.’”

Have you ever been caught in a story? Here’s what it looks like:

  • Worrying about what might or might not happen;
  • Thinking about what other people should or shouldn’t do;
  • Believing our own internal voices that criticize, doubt, shame, and judge;
  • Gossiping to friends about other people’s stories.

Did you ever consider that these stories are extra?

We get so used to defining ourselves by these familiar narratives. And, maybe you’ve noticed that being lost in stories keeps us tied up in our minds and not available to relax into the present moment.

When we’re attached to stories, things feel complicated.

What if we didn’t refer to stories to define our reality


Who would you be if you didn’t worry constantly? What would you do if you didn’t listen to the contents of your mind?

If you look closely enough, you will notice an effortless unfolding of life that is happening. Your body walks into the kitchen to make a snack. You get into the car, turn on one of your favorite podcasts, then drive to wherever you’re going. You get dressed, breathe, move, chew, sit down, stand up, blink


Whether or not you’re consciously aware of it, life is happening—without any stories whatsoever. It doesn’t need anything extra to unfold.

Can you look outside your mind to tap into this effortless flow?

I had a conversation with someone recently who was filled with doubt. She was trying to make a decision about whether or not to accept an invitation, and she went back and forth in her thoughts, terrified that she would make the wrong decision and miss out on something seemingly important.

It was clear to me from the get-go what she really wanted to do, but she took the long, circuitous route through the stories in her mind to get there.

There is a simplicity to life if we let ourselves see it
it’s beautiful
and perfect. We become aware of it when we don’t listen to the mental noise in our minds.

We stop thinking we know the answers and instead take a breath and open to the truth of the moment. We stop grasping for control. We start taking our preferences—and even our fears—lightly. Because when we attach to them, we suffer.

We trust that the only way to peace is to put the personal stories aside and surrender fully to this flow
as it is


If the story is extra, then where does that leave you? What do you notice?

You’re here, present and alive, available to what’s happening now—the actual felt experience of this now moment. You’re open, receptive, quiet
and peaceful.

Can you feel it?

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