“There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine.
O traveler, if you are in search of That
Don’t look outside, look inside yourself and seek That.”
~Rumi
Let’s start by contemplating some common situations that arise in everyday life.
Anne gets frustrated every time her husband walks through the door and doesn’t give her a hug before moving onto other things.
Robert feels disappointed when the phone call he’s been waiting for never comes.
Melanie feels tense every time she reads the news.
These common situations leave us batted about by our reactions, feeling that something isn’t right, while what we really want is to feel okay inside.
Anne needs her husband’s behavior to change so she can feel loved. Robert needs that phone call so he can stop feeling disappointed. And Melanie needs better news so she can feel at peace.
Their happiness is attached to things they can’t control. And this is a setup for unhappiness.
Here’s a simple but brilliant truth—and it’s one that we can bring to our in-the-moment experience over and over.
The world is as it is. People do what they do. Things happen as they happen, and there are no mistakes. And our ideas about what should happen have little to do with it.
People aren’t wrong and the world isn’t wrong. It’s just how it is. Even if some of the things that happen are quite upsetting, this is a truth that doesn’t change. Things are as they are.
So if we don’t have control over things external to us—if we can’t manifest a world of people and situations that fulfill our every desire—then how can we be happy and peaceful?
The one amazing, life-changing option that we always have is to turn our attention away from our thoughts and the outer world and in toward ourselves to meet our inner reactions with loving acceptance.
The source of our discontent is not in what happens—it’s in our reactions to what happens. Underneath the stressful situations and unfulfilled desires are tender places of fear and longing.
While we’re busy in our heads hoping to be loved, wanting others to change, or wishing the news would improve, we miss ourselves…the tension in our bodies, the persistent anxiety, and the young parts that need our loving attention.
Our thoughts mostly tell us what is not okay and what needs to be fixed or changed….so don’t look for peace and happiness there… But opening to our feelings with love and kindness, we discover a whole new way of being with our experience.
We start by becoming peaceful with what arises in us, and eventually our view of the world changes to one of compassionate understanding…for ourselves and everyone else. We have the space to flow with life…
- Receiving rather than resisting;
- Welcoming in love rather than fixing or improving;
- Being curious.
Exploring even deeper, we discover the underlying, stable formless reality that is already whole, fulfilled, and complete. Resting here in this spacious presence…allowing everything, resisting nothing…there’s peace…
Looking outward into the world to find ways to feel better is one of the many strategies we use to avoid our inner experience. Although it might work for a while, ultimately we will become aware of the pain of our feelings again.
But turn toward yourself with love and openness, and miracles happen. Finally, you’re connected, alive, real, and at peace.
