“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”
~Rabindranath Tagore
I know what it’s like to live a life driven by emotion, and believe me, it won’t make you happy.
Someone shows up late, and you’re triggered by fear and anger. You get some negative feedback, and you sulk in sadness. You live in anxiety, cycling thoughts over and over about what will happen next and if it will all be okay.
It’s like you’re a yo-yo on a string, with your happiness tied to all the circumstances in your life that you can’t control.
If you ask me, this is no way to live.
Until you become fully aware of your inner experiences, emotions will rule, guaranteed.
Emotions are highly conditioned, meaning that they are automatic reactions that arise in you in response to things that happen. When a memory comes to mind, you don’t need to make yourself feel sad. You just do.
And it’s not only about how you feel.
If you make decisions based on emotions, you are unlikely to be happy and fulfilled.
- You feel empty and choose the first potential partner who comes along, even though the red flags are flying everywhere.
- Because you’re afraid, you don’t reach out to engage fully in the world.
- Your resentment keeps your heart closed and your relationships stuck.
You’re making choices all the time—are these the ones you really want to be making? I didn’t think so.
Maybe it’s time to shine the light of awareness on emotions. Emotions have power over you when you avoid them. But get curious about them, bring them into conscious awareness, and things begin to change.
Rather than resisting, you’re welcoming and accepting.
And you can choose to respond from clarity, logic, and intelligence instead of from emotion.
See how you don’t need to get rid of emotions or change them into happier ones? That takes way too much effort.
Instead, become aware of the feelings that take you over. Once you see how feelings have been driving you, you can put them aside and make a different choice.
You have the space to be reasonable, flexible, logical, and smart about how you live.
Think of a problem you have—an unresolved relationship from the past, work stress, an ongoing situation that frustrates you. Notice how your emotions about the situation make you feel and what they motivate you to do.
Now, become aware of the emotion that’s fueling the problem. See the story the emotion is telling you.
Notice how the emotion isn’t serving your peace and happiness. Be honest with yourself—is it helping or hurting?
Now, bundle up the feeling and put it aside. Experience yourself without the weight of the emotion.
Returning to the problem, how does it look to you without the emotion tangled up in it?
Even if this process seems difficult for you, imagine what it would be like to not follow your emotions.
Difficult feelings can be like old friends who have overstayed their welcome. You’re used to them being around, but you don’t enjoy their company.
So know this: Feelings are temporary, and you can let them go. They don’t have to drive and define you. Moment after moment, you can find the place in you that is free of emotion. And when you do, live there happily with clarity, intelligence, and love.
