Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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Fully Available to Life

available-to-lifeThere is a life-force within your soul, seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine.
O traveler, if you are in search of That
Don’t look outside, look inside yourself and seek That.
~Rumi

What is the point of living if we aren’t enjoying ourselves? This is the question that came to me as I was thinking about my full to-do list and worrying about an upcoming presentation. And it stopped me in my tracks.

When I took a look at all the things that seemed so important to accomplish, clear seeing showed me that everything was just fine. Nothing was late, and all was well.

It’s a pattern that can grip me—the need to do and keep up with tasks—and it was beautiful when the light of awareness pierced through these false and stressful thoughts. Immediately, I was home—to peace, relaxation, and pure enjoyment.

Here, I’m empty of conditioning and fully available to life!

Radio Interview

Where can you let go to return to ease, simply being here as pure presence?

This is one of the questions we discussed in an interview I did recently on ConsciousTalk Radio. The interviewers, Brenda Michaels and Rob Spears, were so much fun, making for lively conversation. Here’s the link to the interview that starts at about 4 minutes in. I hope you enjoy it.

Interview on ConsciousTalk radio

Book Available for Pre-Order

Also, exciting news! My book, The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life, is available for pre-order. It will be released on April 16, but you can order it now from Amazon.com in the paperback or ebook version.

Here’s the link: Pre-order book on Amazon

If you’re thinking of getting it, this may be the right time. You’ll be helping the book get noticed by Amazon, which will spread its message about happiness and freedom to as many people as possible.

It’s called The End of Self-Help because we’re not broken, damaged selves who need help. We’re already whole, full, and overflowing, and the book explains how to realize this. You’ll be able to read all about it on April 16.

What About You?

So for now, my question to you is: what stories can you let go of that trick you into believing you’re damaged or inadequate? What do you discover when you get out of your own way? I’d love to hear… And if you’re reading this by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.

Always in love,

Gail

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A Practical Guide to a Spiritually Connected Life

spiritually connected“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
~Albert Einstein

There is always a way out of your personal suffering. Always. In any moment, you can stop, investigate your experience to see what’s false and what’s true, and live the truth that you are. This is what’s always available to you.

We’re experts at living the lies that we tell ourselves―that we’re limited and inadequate, that we need a relationship to be happy, that our judgments of ourselves and others are true.

But what about living the truth? Do you need to wait for divine intervention to live fully? Are happiness and joy not in the cards for you?

Your true nature, who you really are, is infinitely loving, overflowing with possibility, impossible to contain. You are the brilliance that lights up everything.

  • Do you melt when you hold a baby? It’s not the baby; it’s the transparency of love that’s so incredibly sweet.
  • Are you in awe of a beautiful sunset (like the ones we’ve been having in Santa Barbara lately)? It’s not the sunset; the beauty that is naturally you is right here to be seen in the outside world, with no separation.

I was in Starbuck’s this morning with tears in my eyes at the kindness all around me. It was the one heart seen everywhere.

For most of us, this awareness of the truth of things is hidden. We get distracted by our worries and dramas. We’re stuck chewing on thoughts in our minds, while we’re missing the full-on, juicy humanity and presence of the moment.

So here are some reminders. Living the truth of the way things really are, the way of happiness and peace, is not “spiritual.” It’s practical, tangible, and available to you right now. Align yourself with the essence of life with these heartfelt practices for a spiritually connected life.

Have no personal agenda

If you have an axe to grind, if you’re waiting for your needs to be fulfilled by others, you’re standing squarely in your personal self, and you’re suffering. Rather than pushing your agenda, switch your perspective entirely.

Be humble. Stop the fight with what’s happening and be a welcoming host for whatever appears.

Receive things as they are, as though they were gifts being offered to you, because they are.

For me, my mantra is, “Oh, this.” I’m no longer concerned about what should be happening or how I should be feeling. The reality of the moment is perfection. Who am I to argue with it?

See everything as yourself

In truth, there is only universal consciousness, which means that nothing is separate from anything else. See a tree? The essence of it is the same as the essence of you. Encounter another person? At the source, there aren’t two people, just life unfolding.

If this isn’t known to you in your direct experience, no worries. Just try out some experiments to see what it’s like:

  • Imagine being with a familiar person, deleting any history, then seeing them freshly as yourself.
  • Now take this new perspective into an interaction with them. What do you say or do?
  • How would you walk in the world if everything is you?

If you’re like me, the heart starts overflowing with tenderness and compassion. How can you hurt others when they’re you? This doesn’t mean you don’t intelligently say, “No!” when that’s called for. It makes you even more aware of how suffering moves people and brings clarity about what to do.

Let the one heart be illuminated, and live there.

Befriend the unknown

You can’t know anything beyond what is happening in this present moment. Worried about the future? You’re wasting your time.

We so easily project negative outcomes onto the future―when in truth we know nothing about what’s going to happen. How will that date go? What will that event be like? Really, you have no idea.

When you know that you don’t know, you’re totally receptive to what is. You live in wonder because anything can happen. You’re no longer limited by beliefs you hold about yourself, others, and the world.

Don’t be driven by fear

Fear divides, separates, and gets your mind spinning. Fear can be present in your experience, but you don’t need to listen to its advice. In fact, if you do, you’re out of alignment with the truth of universal consciousness.

There is a natural intelligence to life that guides you perfectly. To access it, you can ask, “What would love do?” or, “What would wisdom do?”

You already know what fear would do. It limits your expression in life and keeps you falsely entangled in confusion. Try out another way―to be aligned with fullness of life that is clear, open, boundless, and wise.

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When you meet life with deep openness and receptivity, it will feel odd at first. After all, you’re stepping outside your self-imposed prison of false beliefs, and you don’t know what it’s like out here in the land of freedom. Let the cells of your body rearrange, be fully in not knowing and openness to what is.

Sure you can suffer, if that’s your choice. But if you’d like to know another way, consciously align your experience with what’s true. You’ll make the amazing discover that the end of suffering is so close, less than a nanosecond away.

Try out these experiments in your own experience. What is it like for you? I’d love to hear… And if you’re reading this by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.

Always in love,
Gail

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Your World Is a Projection of Your Inner State

world_projection“Liberation is not an acquisition, but a matter of courage, the courage to believe that you are free already and to act on it.”
~Nisargadatta Maharaj

How does your world look to you? Is it scary and uninviting? Filled with people who complicate your life? Does it leave you with a sense that something’s missing?

As a formerly unhappy and confused person, now recovered, here’s what I’ve learned: It has nothing to do with the world.

Our worlds are a projection of our inner state. That’s right. There’s no objective world “out there.” Take two people with two different histories and two different perspectives. They’ll see the exact same situation in two completely different ways.

It’s like you’re looking out through a window. If your window is layered with programmed habits that define your experience, your inner state is limited and edgy. If your view is pristine and clear, with nothing in the way, you’re open, expansive, and available to what is.

What is your window onto the world? Is it murky, filled with the smudges of emotions, fears, and distorted beliefs and expectations? Then you’ll find a disappointing world out there where people are driven by their own emotions and situations will fail to meet your needs.

Is your window clear? You’ll engage with open, loving people who aren’t steeped in drama. You’ll find fulfillment and happiness effortlessly.

How It Works: An Example

Say that your intimate relationships just don’t go well. Somehow you end up with someone who creates conflict, who triggers you unendingly, or who doesn’t treat you with love and respect. It’s no mystery as to why these patterns recur for you, and it has nothing to do with the other.

It’s about your own inner experience.

  • Maybe you believe a sad story that you’re not deserving. Then you’ll choose someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
  • Maybe you have lots of ideas about what your partner should say and do. There will be no way he or she can possibly satisfy you.
  • Maybe you’ve been burned by relationships in the past. Your protective walls will prevent you from experiencing true intimacy. Your partner will want more from you than you’re willing to give.

And if you show up with a loving heart, with preferences but not expectations, you’re already fulfilled. You’ll choose wisely and flow like water when difficulties arise.

The Sacred Path to Clarity

I’m going to go out in a limb here and assume that what you want is ease and clarity. You want your window to be clear so you don’t get knotted up by situations that leave you spinning to try to figure them out. You want to feel okay about yourself, others, and the things that happen.

It may be easier than you think to experience this way of being.

There’s a spiritual practice called “neti-neti,” which means “not this, not that.” You take everything that arises in your experience, and you see it as not really you. A thought that you’re not good enough? Not you. A feeling of fear? Not you. A belief that you’ll get rejected if you get too close? Not you, as it’s a projection into the future and not about what’s happening now.

Neti-neti invites you to see what is actually true. And it’s not these distorted experiences that muck up your window.

Underneath all your patterns, your fears and hurt feelings, your rigid expectations is peace. When you see these habits as simply objects that pass through your consciousness, you don’t need to make them your reality, and you’re peaceful. The smudges come, but you don’t grab them so they don’t stick to your clear window. Neti-neti—they’re not you.

Experience this right now, if you can. Take an old familiar thought you’ve been thinking about yourself for decades. Now, imagine it floating though your mind without taking hold of it. There it goes…and here you are, free of it in this moment.

Now, feel a familiar impulse to lash out or pull away. Let it move through, and it doesn’t disturb.

You can inhabit the space of presence, the stable ground of being, where you’re free of these personal complications. Here, your window is clean. There may be shadows that cross it, but they move through without creating trouble.

See past them, and here you are…so crystal clear that your inner light shines brightly, everywhere. Let your life emerge from this clarity. It’s a blessed life in true service to love.

What About You?

How’s your window? Can you find the space of clear seeing? I’d love to hear… And if you’re reading by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.

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Finding the Gift in Boredom

bored_alive“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”
~Paulo Coelho

It descends like a cloud before you know it. Your mind turns to mush. You stare into space. Your focus goes out the window. Your body feels like a heavy sack. And there you are…bored out of your mind.

Boredom is one of those experiences that dulls your engagement with life. It’s a mindless state that blocks your creativity, enthusiasm, and interest. As teacher Francis Lucille says, it’s a rejection of the present moment.

Let boredom go unchecked, and who knows how long you’ll sit there in a fog. But come alive to your boredom, and everything changes in less than a nanosecond.

Waking Up to Boredom

As paradoxical as it might sound, what if you got interested in your experience of boredom? Instead of being bored, you shift your attention away from boredom to being here, aware in this present moment.

Instead of being lost, now you can study what you’re experiencing. And that’s when things get interesting.

Say you’re fascinated by Josephine Bonaparte, wife of Napolean (like I am). What do you do with that passion? You read everything about her. You become knowledgeable about the social and historical context in which she lived. You learn about the personalities of the people in her life and the roles thay played.

You put your thirst for information into practice.

Now, what if you found your own experience of boredom to be equally fascinating? You might ask questions like:

  • What is happening in my mind and thought process when I’m bored?
  • What emotions are present, maybe suppressed by the boredom? (for example, fear or anger)
  • What does my body feel like when I’m bored?
  • What happens to my energy?
  • What do I feel like doing or not doing when I’m bored?
  • How do I show up in my relationships?
  • What triggers boredom?

Now that you’ve shown interest in boredom, where did it go? When you’re fascinated by boredom, it just doesn’t trap you anymore.

Finding Your Aliveness Again

This post was inspired by my own experience being bored while I was trying to write it. I “woke up” to realize I had shut down and somehow disappeared. But instantaneously, I was back!

I took a breath and said, “Hello, boredom.” Then I reconnected with my desire to communicate what would be most helpful for you, the lovely one reading this.

When you let boredom have its way with you, you’re consumed by it. But when you step back to find some space from it, all of a sudden you’ve found your aliveness again. It’s always been here, only temporarily obscured.

No longer stuck in the cloud of boredom, you’ve accessed a new, expanded state of consciousness—you might call it clarity. Fresh options become apparent that before were hidden.

In your full aliveness, what are you moved to do? What is most vital to you in this moment? What is calling you?

Next time you’re bored, remember this: the aliveness that is you is here, so incredibly present, overflowing everywhere. You’re just a shift of attention away. Wake up to the moments of your life, and see what begins to unfold…

What About You?

What do you notice when you come alive to boredom? I’d love to hear… And if you’re reading this by email, please click here to comment.

Always in love,

Gail

Note: I’ll be offering a half-day retreat on October 18 in Santa Barbara. Please click here for details and to register.

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A Simple Experiment with Profound Results

act_as_if“What you are looking for is within you
Fall silent a moment and contemplate what that means…
You lack nothing.”
~Prem Rawat

I know, it’s hard sometimes. Things get you down, and you can’t seem to find your way out. Life seems blah, and you’re thinking there’s got to be a better way.

Well, there is. And one way to access it is to “act as if.” Whatever you want for yourself, you act as if it’s already the case. You can act as if you’re confident, completely fulfilled, or free of attachments to painful emotions.

“Acting As If” Transforms

Acting as if might sound like a superficial technique that couldn’t possibly help you. But I’m not into superficial, and acting as if can be profound and transformative.

We so easily get in our own way. Our attachments to distorted thought patterns and unhappy feelings sabotage our ability to fully express ourselves in life. It’s so pervasive that we might not even realize these habits are hijacking us. But they are.

Acting as if is a way through these habits that have never served us. It opens us to the deepest fulfillment.

Let’s take feeling inadequate as an example. If this is your reality, you repeat negative thoughts in your mind about how you’re not good enough. These thoughts cause you to conclude that you won’t be able to accomplish the goals you want before you even try.

Then you might spend your time thinking about the disappointing things that happened in your past that you blame for your inadequacy. It’s a repetitive cycle that keeps you locked into negativity.

And how do you feel if you think you’re inadequate? Anxious, downtrodden, hopeless. These thoughts and feelings inhabit your body, constricting your breathing, weighing down your posture, and silently diminishing your health. They get into your cells and distort the pathways of connections in your brain.

But what if you were to act as if you’re confident? You have to get into it, thinking the way a confident person would think, feeling the way they would feel, and letting the brain and body rearrange so you get the visceral, in-the-body experience of feeling confident.

If you were confident, how would you walk and stand? What would you say and how would you say it? What would you do when self-critical thoughts happen to appear in the mind? How would it be to go out into the world with your whole being screaming, “Confident!”

See how acting as if can be a powerful way to break through false identities?

It Accesses Your Deepest Knowing

And I’ll let you in on a little secret. Acting as if is actually a trick to get you to connect with your inner intelligence, the wisest you who already knows how to be free and happy.

If you’re feeling inadequate, how do you know how to act as if you’re confident? Where did that information come from?

What a surprise to realize that something in you already knows how to let go of inadequacy and be your full confident self. The prompt to act as if is a bit of a sneaky way to guide you into sanity and clear seeing. It takes you out of your limited, programmed ways of being and delivers you right into the vast potential that is always available to you.

If you’ve been sitting around waiting for life to bring you what you’re hoping for, you might want to experiment with acting as if. Rather than wishful thinking, investigate to see if what you want might already be more of a possiblity than you ever imagined.

Your Turn to Act As If

Here are some suggestions. Choose one or more of these, or come up with your own. Reflect on what it would take to act as if and experience it deeply in your mind, heart, body, and spirit.

Get out of your chair, and make it like you’re auditioning for the role of your life. Because you are. When you act as if, you’re shedding ideas about yourself that aren’t true and inhabiting the expansive potential of you.

Act as if: you’re wise.

  • If you were wise, what would your thought process be like?
  • How would you make decisions?
  • What would you do when things don’t go as planned?

Act as if: you care about yourself.

  • How would caring about yourself play out in your thoughts, actions, choices, and emotions?
  • What would you do if you were in a situation you knew wasn’t right for you?
  • What would your daily life look like?

Act as if: you’re ready for healthy relationships.

  • Who would you choose for your partner and your friends?
  • Which of your relationships would need to end?
  • How would you show up with others?
  • What would you think about?
  • What would you do when you feel scared or angry?

Act as if: you’re free of the pain from your past.

  • Without being held back by your past, what would you do differently in your life?
  • What would you stop doing?
  • How would you relate to strong feelings that arise in you?

Act as if: you’re so much bigger than your imagined limits.

  • How would you feel in your body?
  • What would you do with limiting thoughts?
  • How would you know what actions to take?
  • How would you relate to other people?

Back to Basics

You may be an expert at acting as if you’re miserable, disappointed, and ungrateful. But what if you made a different choice? I love acting as if because it immediately busts the false identities that hold you back.

Maybe you can entertain the possibility that you’re already whole, healed, and totally fabulous. Maybe you are way more knowledgeable about being fully alive in your life than you ever imagined.

Act as if the light of universal presence shines through you—because it does. Act as if you’re capable of making wise choices—because you are if you’re willing to be honest with yourself. Act as if you don’t let fear get in your way—because who you really are is way bigger than fear.

What happens to all those self-imposed limits you thought you were stuck with? They miraculously dissolve, and here you are, with a sweet, knowing smile on your face.

What About You?

Try acting as if. In the comments, tell us what quality you’re acting as if you had. How did the experiment go? I’d love to hear… If you’re reading this by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.

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