Note: Does fear hold you back? Please join me for my first-ever conference call on “Moving Through Fear with Grace.” You will hear exactly what you need to know to be released from the trap of fear. I look forward to speaking with you!
“Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.”
~Rainer Maria Rilke
As we all know, it doesn’t take much to get stuck. Before we know it, we are barreling along on automatic, going down a road that doesn’t support our happiness and well being. Sound familiar?
Some of these tendencies we perpetuate are so strong, that we may not even know what to do to find our way out. We are lost in tunnel vision, with seemingly no choices for freeing ourselves.
A friend of mine gets caught in trying to be perfect. When he needs to make a decision, he researches the options endlessly, staying on the fence for a very long time (up to a year!).
Some of us are stuck in seeking approval and validation or avoiding life due to fear. And others might be immobilized by a grudge, an addiction, or a victim story of, “Why me?”
Why Ask Questions
Whatever is your special brand of suffering, here is the truth: There is always a way out. Not sure how to begin? Simply ask questions.
Asking questions is like a healing balm for unhappiness. And it’s easy. You don’t need to know the answer – you only need to learn to ask intelligent questions. Begin to ask questions, and you will:
- Discover useful information about what you are thinking, feeling, and doing.
- Embark on a path that offers the freedom to make appropriate choices for yourself.
- Stop the loop of unsatisfying or self-defeating patterns.
The How-To
How to do it? Simple. Take any habit at all that you recycle in your life, any way you spin your wheels, and ask yourself any of these questions. Take them slowly, one at a time, and let them sink in.
- What am I actually doing?
- Is this supporting my well being?
- Is this serving me and everyone else?
- How is this pattern bringing trouble to my life?
- What do I really want? Is this what I want?
- How can I be more aligned with what I want?
- What is my heart saying? How is it directing me?
- How can I be kind to myself?
- How can I bring ease to my life in this very moment?
It is not an exaggeration to say that asking these questions can be transformative. When you stop to inquire about what is actually going on in the moment, the raw truth is revealed. You may not like what you see, but seeing things clearly opens up the possibility to make a new, healthier, more life-supporting choice.
Say that what holds you back is self-critical thinking. Without you even realizing it, court is in session, and judge and jury are hard at work – in your mind. At some point, you will recognize what is happening. And this is the time to start asking questions.
“What am I doing?” “Is this supporting me?” “What is my heart saying?” “Can I be kind to myself?”
The Wonder of It All
Any tendency that brings you unhappiness is not aligned with your true desires. This disconnection needs to be identified, brought to the surface, and seen in the light of day – and asking questions will allow this to happen. Only then can you turn toward the peace and ease you long for.
I have to say, I’m amazed at the power of synchronicity. Just as I was completing this post, what shows up in my inbox, but a link to an article by poet David Whyte called “10 Questions That Have No Right to Go Away.” Immensely revealing.
Interested in truth, authenticity, and heart-fueled living? Start asking questions.
What do you discover when you ask yourself the essential questions? I’d love to hear…
