Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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The End of the Mind-Driven Life

“From where we are there is always a path toward love. What takes discipline is continually choosing that path.”
~Jesse Pender

I have had an epiphany recently, and it was shocking. I realized how much my life has been driven by my mind.

I thought I was free. I thought I had control. But really I had been a slave to my thoughts, just like a puppet on a string.

The Source of the Problem

The signs were evident, but I hadn’t put all the pieces together. I often felt stressed and pressured. I have to do a yoga practice, I have to accept that next client, I have to keep everything in order.

Things looked pretty good on the outside, but I realized how much I had been resisting people and situations, as in, I want him to want what I want, not what he actually wants or I don’t want things to get in my way.

Get the commonality? It was all about me – what I thought should or shouldn’t be happening.

What about a quiet walk on the beach or the space to just be? What about listening and letting life unfold? These are the things that got put on the back burner while my thoughts were leading the show.

It took a week in silence to reveal the problem. And here is what I discovered: I had been living a mind-driven life. All the troubles, the stress, the doubting, wondering, and confusion. The source of all of it was letting thoughts drive my life.

The Lovely Effects

It’s been over for just over a month now (why I haven’t been writing here), and the shift has been dramatic. I don’t believe or give attention to one single thought – not one. And the results are:

  • No more resistance to anything that happens – ever. (It takes a belief or expectation to resist.)
  • No more stress. (Stress is based on should’s, have to’s, and must’s – all thoughts.)
  • No more person who thinks she must be in control. (“Gail” is seen as simply thoughts, preferences, and feelings. There is no real entity that is “me.”)
  • Endless peace.
  • Persistent contentment that never goes away.

This doesn’t mean that thoughts don’t appear – they absolutely do. But my desire for peace is so unwavering that I give them no attention. Like emptying the gas tank, thoughts without attention simply lose their oomph and eventually grind to a halt.

Endless Returning

I am discovering that thoughts can wriggle in almost undetected if I’m not vigilant enough. When I am the least bit off – irritable, nervous, cranky – I need to return to the conviction for peace and determine how a thought has taken hold.

The hidden treasure is always here. Somehow mind has taken charge, but the power of dissociating attention from the thought leaves me simply aware. Not aware of anything in particular, but conscious, alive, and oh, so peaceful.

Which brings me to the core realization of the end of the mind-driven life. And here it is: Your true identity is not the separate you, the man or woman who you think you are, your needs, preferences, history, hopes, relationships.

Who you are is the space in which all of this arises. You are aware presence, conscious and alive.

My friend, Rupert Spira, offers the metaphor of a room full of furniture. Who you are is the space, not the furniture. And the space is undisturbed no matter what is in it.

Anything can appear – beliefs, expectations, strong feelings, illness, pain. You, the space, are at peace with all of it. You are infinitely non-resistant to everything, welcoming completely yet remaining untouched.

Your Turn

If you are interested in the end of your troubles, begin experimenting to make your own discoveries.

  • Take a look to see how much thought controls you and your life.
  • Take some time to be quiet, then see what you experience when you think thoughts and when you lose interest in them.  This exercise helps you understand that you can choose peace, always.
  • Notice that no matter what you think, feel, or do, you are aware. Put your attention on the awareness instead of on the thoughts and feelings. Let life reveal itself without your control.

image: Yes, those are my feet 🙂

Remember Who You Are

Who you are is unbounded consciousness.

You are aware! You are alive!

Everything you experience is you – it couldn’t be otherwise.

You are unlimited awareness, not resisting anything, including everything.

You are completely at peace.

You are not:

  • Separate or limited
  • A person with a story
  • Your thoughts
  • Your feelings
  • Any concepts you might have about yourself
  • A victim of the past

You are the awareness in which all of this appears.

As you find your way home,

As you shift from your limited idea of you to your true boundless nature,

  • Treat everyone and everything (including yourself) with love and care.
  • Lose interest in troublesome thoughts and feelings – let them be finished.
  • Follow happiness.
  • Tell the truth.
  • Fill your life with beauty in all forms.

Note: All comments and questions are welcome.  Beginning next week, I’ll be away on a silent retreat and will reappear in the middle of May.
Love to you,

Gail

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Awaken to the Power of Slow

“In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

We’re moving way too fast, and it’s time to slooow dooown. Does your life fly by at warp speed? Are you exhausted, always living three steps ahead of yourself?

We think that everything we do is so important. The situations in our lives demand our attention and fuel an agitated, nonstop mind.

How are we ever going to realize the peace and happiness we want if we don’t slow down?

Slow Down and Rest

Over coffee with some friends, we were lamenting the loss of the sabbath. In the olden days (well, the 1960’s), stores were closed on Sundays, and it was a day of true relaxation, a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

It was an opportunity to stop, rest, enjoy, and connect – free of the pressure to do and achieve.

But slowing down isn’t just about taking a break.

Slow Down and Reconnect

When you run at full tilt, you are disconnected from yourself. You are driven by your schedule or your perceived obligations. The mind has taken over, and your life has become built on concepts rather than the true aliveness that allows it to emerge naturally and effortlessly.

You have no time or space to get honest with yourself about the unhealthy patterns you play out.

Until you slow down…way down…nothing will change. Yes, things will happen, but

you will be a victim of your life rather than the enjoyer of it.

There’s no need to make a radical change. You can slow down and speed up as you wish. But consider dipping your toe into the wonder of slowing down. Because when you do, you open to the possibility of unifying yourself and reducing confusion.

You discover that everything you were looking for is already here.

You meet peace, harmony, and contentment – right here in this present moment.

Are you ready to slow down? Here’s what you get. Welcome to sanity, welcome to your life.

Be Here Now

Of course, you are always here – how could you be anywhere else? But when your mind is spinning with thoughts about the past and worries about the future, you feel anywhere but here.

Slow down your activities. Take some time to be quiet. Lose interest in your thoughts so their power wanes.

Let go of analyzing, judging, categorizing, projecting, wishing, and see that things unfold just fine. Whatever needs to happen will happen without your intervention.

Have no expectations, and you can’t possibly be disappointed.

Breathe. Be. Allow rather than do. Rest in the stillness of you.

Observe and Feel

Slowing down creates the space to get very familiar with your automatic programming. Do you smoke, eat too much, keep yourself ridiculously busy? Are you driven by need, lack, or control?

These patterns cannot possibly bring you peace.

When you slow down, you tell the truth to yourself. You feel the effects of these self-betrayals.

You learn so clearly how these habits play out there is the possibility of choosing differently.

I recently spoke with a 95-year-old woman who was still intensely concerned about what people think of her. So painful. Please don’t let this be you.  Slow down, and do the work that is required for your precious well being.

Notice

If you slow down, and you’re not filling your mind with a jumble of thoughts about the future, then what?

Ah, this is where living starts. You will notice the array of appearances that come and go.

Open to sounds. Feel sensations. Look around you with totally fresh eyes. Be awake as you drive, clean, cook, laugh.

Feel the essence of people around you so you can meet them exactly as they are – selflessly.

Enjoy the blossoming of life that is inseparable from you.

KISS

KISS stands for “keep it simple, stupid.” I can’t remember the last time I used the word “stupid,” but the “keep it simple” part is filled with wisdom.

When you slow down, you simplify. The most natural way of being emerges, and here’s what you discover:

  • Action happens effortlessly based on what is appropriate in the situation
  • The veils of your conditioning fall away, leaving you free
  • Thoughts release their grip on you
  • You are moved by love, not fear

Slow down. Arrive right here where you have never left. You will naturally emanate joy everywhere.

Do you find it difficult to slow down? What have you discovered when you do? We’d all love to hear…

My blogging friend Christopher Foster of The Happy Seeker has just released his lovely book, The Raven Who Spoke with God, on Kindle. Click here to check it out (non-affiliate link).

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Are You Keeping the Past Alive in the Present?

“Whatever you have forgotten, you can remember. Whatever you have buried you can unearth. If you are willing to look deep into your own nature, if you are willing to peel away the layers of not-self you have adopted in making your way through the tribulations of life, you will find that your true self is not as far removed as you think.”
~Meredith Jordan

I have so much compassion for those deeply-held patterns that we find ourselves trapped by. The pattern might be a fear of not having enough or being enough, a tendency to need approval or acceptance, or an out-of-control desire for control.

We feel a basic sense of lack and are driven to complete ourselves. “If only I could find the missing link, then I would be happy.” Doesn’t this describe the human condition?

The Origin of Lack

These patterns form when we are very young in response to circumstances and relationship dynamics. The people around us meant the best, but sometimes they fell short of providing the support and attention that we really needed.

This unfortunate situation creates the fertile ground for troublesome programming to thrive. We learn survival patterns that take hold of us like a hungry tiger, and they spread their tentacles into our hearts, minds, and bodies.

And now here you are, in your 20’s or 40’s or even older, acting as if you were five again. This is what has happened: the past is very much alive in the present.

Identify Your Identities

The pull of these unresolved experiences is very strong. They infiltrate you and become who you think you are. They seem to stuff the wholeness of you into a tiny box, and they drive you with need and desperation.

I had very early experiences that gave me the message that I wasn’t safe in the world. Since my basic security felt threatened, I grew up filled with fear. Sometimes it has played out as passivity and sometimes as a sense of bravado that hid the fear that was driving me.

Either way, whenever I respond with passivity or bravado, I am keeping the past alive in the present.

Return to Sanity

You have probably heard of the metaphor of the inner child. When these experiences from the past have not gotten the loving attention they need, it is just like a child living inside you. You feel the emotions of that earlier time, and they drive you to limit yourself in so many ways.

Believe me, I know this well in my own experience.

But I know this also: Total freedom requires us to unearth these tendencies. They are not real, and they are not who we are. They drive our behavior, and they shield us from the natural life that is our birthright.

We must see them with laser-like clarity or they continue to live in us outside of conscious awareness.

Isn’t it time to heal these so-called wounds and return to natural wholeness?

Tell the truth about how you bring the past into the present. Name the tendencies that operate through you. Step back from them so you can see them as they are. Know that they have landed in you, but they are not you.

Be ruthless and compassionate. Yes, undesirable things happened, but stay rooted in your quest for freedom, for wholeness. Be willing to do whatever it takes.

Tell the story and feel the pain. Don’t hold back in experiencing the pain of these patterns. How do they make you feel? How have you betrayed yourself? What has been the effect on others? Feel the truth of the pain so you see it clearly. But don’t wallow in it.

Soothe the inner child. Let him or her feel your support and reassurance and love. And know that I love you, with all my heart.

Contemplate living without these tendencies. What would change? What would freedom feel like? This is the natural, unconditioned you.  Experiment with living it.

Stay aware. These deeply-embedded patterns hold on tightly. Know them so well that they come to light in an instant. Then, over and over, relax into wholeness. Let go of all barriers and live in this open, receptive space, free of boundaries and structure.

Then one day you will notice, ah, peace and happiness…effortlessly.

This is your time. What pattern do you need to resolve? How do you stay committed to the process? We would all love to hear and support you…

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Five Must-Do Actions to Uncover Your Natural Brilliance

“We become what we love. What we put first in our lives is what we receive from life.”
~Guy Finley

In case you haven’t noticed yet, the truth of who you are is intelligent, creative, and naturally fulfilled. This is your essence, your true nature, that is non-negotiable and undeniable.

You don’t have life – you are life. You don’t find peace – you are infinitely peaceful at the core.

But sometimes the clouds move in, and your inner glow seems to be hidden. You want to be happy, yet fear deters you. You long for an end to suffering, but you just don’t know how to go about it. You are desperate for your light to shine even though it seems very, very dim. (Light? What light?)

When we are perfectly aligned with life in its purest form, it unfolds effortlessly. But for most of us, effort is required for a time. It helps tremendously to know what you should focus on and how you should handle your reactions and troublesome habits.

And if you’re really serious about releasing your inner brilliance, you will make it a practice to apply these actions as often as possible during your daily life. This is what I have done for years, and it’s been a joy to know in my own experience that the clouds move on, and the light keeps getting brighter and brighter.

Familiarize yourself with these five actions, then, when the moment is right, engage with them. Put them into practice, notice the results, and prepare yourself to be surprised. For each one is a doorway to your limitless light.

1. Let go of any stories you are telling yourself.

We tell ourselves stories about the past and worry about what might happen in the future. Stories can be dramatic, scary, or sad. Some common ones are:

  • I’m a victim.
  • I’m no good.
  • I can’t.
  • I’m not worthy.
  • I deserve…
  • I should or shouldn’t….

No story serves the release of your inner brilliance. Stories categorize and define. They convince you that you are a fraction of who you really are. And they divert your attention from what is real, free, and alive in you.

Lose interest in all stories – yes, all of them. Shed the veils of thinking, and watch your brilliance take over.

2. Listen to the whisper voice of your natural self and let it guide you.

Once the roar of thinking dies down, there is the space for you to listen. Spend time being quiet. Just sit, and be infinitely open and available.

Guidance is always here. Your job is to listen and follow it.

Are you willing?

3. Don’t feed the drama of your emotions.

Emotions can easily get you side-tracked. Say, “No more.” See that emotions come and go like weather. Don’t worship at the altar of your feelings or let them direct your precious life.

Witness your emotions, but don’t get involved with them. They are not a reliable source of information or a signpost. Simply let them be, then the natural direction of your brilliance will unfold. Try it out, and see if this is true for you.

4. Follow what makes you happy.

Don’t be afraid of happiness, and don’t protect yourself from experiencing joy. Turn away from a need to please others or to live according to your should’s and expectations. Don’t be bound by pressures of any kind.

Now is your chance to be free. And now, and now. It’s very simple. If you let happiness guide you:

  • What would you do?
  • How would you relate to your stories and emotions?
  • How do you want to show up in the moments of your life?

Align yourself with happiness, and your natural brilliance will overflow everywhere.

5. Be completely open in your mind and heart.

If you are closed and resistant, you are locking yourself into a very small room. Instead, cultivate a sense of curiosity about everything.

  • Maybe you can be more fulfilled than you could ever imagine. (What is possible for you?)
  • Maybe you can be non-reactive and peaceful. (How would that affect your inner world and your relationships?)
  • Maybe what you identify as problems actually get solved when you relate to them differently. (What would you do with all the energy that is freed up?)

Be open to recognizing and questioning all assumptions. You will be well on the road to living as the infinite brilliance that you are.

It is true that you get out what you put in. Find the place inside you that can’t bear the suffering and confusion and troubled habits one moment longer. Practice these five actions continually.

Then step out of the way, and be your beautiful, shining self.

Do you practice these actions? What happens? Do you notice any obstacles to these practices? I’d love to hear…

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