Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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Your World Is a Projection of Your Inner State

world_projection“Liberation is not an acquisition, but a matter of courage, the courage to believe that you are free already and to act on it.”
~Nisargadatta Maharaj

How does your world look to you? Is it scary and uninviting? Filled with people who complicate your life? Does it leave you with a sense that something’s missing?

As a formerly unhappy and confused person, now recovered, here’s what I’ve learned: It has nothing to do with the world.

Our worlds are a projection of our inner state. That’s right. There’s no objective world “out there.” Take two people with two different histories and two different perspectives. They’ll see the exact same situation in two completely different ways.

It’s like you’re looking out through a window. If your window is layered with programmed habits that define your experience, your inner state is limited and edgy. If your view is pristine and clear, with nothing in the way, you’re open, expansive, and available to what is.

What is your window onto the world? Is it murky, filled with the smudges of emotions, fears, and distorted beliefs and expectations? Then you’ll find a disappointing world out there where people are driven by their own emotions and situations will fail to meet your needs.

Is your window clear? You’ll engage with open, loving people who aren’t steeped in drama. You’ll find fulfillment and happiness effortlessly.

How It Works: An Example

Say that your intimate relationships just don’t go well. Somehow you end up with someone who creates conflict, who triggers you unendingly, or who doesn’t treat you with love and respect. It’s no mystery as to why these patterns recur for you, and it has nothing to do with the other.

It’s about your own inner experience.

  • Maybe you believe a sad story that you’re not deserving. Then you’ll choose someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
  • Maybe you have lots of ideas about what your partner should say and do. There will be no way he or she can possibly satisfy you.
  • Maybe you’ve been burned by relationships in the past. Your protective walls will prevent you from experiencing true intimacy. Your partner will want more from you than you’re willing to give.

And if you show up with a loving heart, with preferences but not expectations, you’re already fulfilled. You’ll choose wisely and flow like water when difficulties arise.

The Sacred Path to Clarity

I’m going to go out in a limb here and assume that what you want is ease and clarity. You want your window to be clear so you don’t get knotted up by situations that leave you spinning to try to figure them out. You want to feel okay about yourself, others, and the things that happen.

It may be easier than you think to experience this way of being.

There’s a spiritual practice called “neti-neti,” which means “not this, not that.” You take everything that arises in your experience, and you see it as not really you. A thought that you’re not good enough? Not you. A feeling of fear? Not you. A belief that you’ll get rejected if you get too close? Not you, as it’s a projection into the future and not about what’s happening now.

Neti-neti invites you to see what is actually true. And it’s not these distorted experiences that muck up your window.

Underneath all your patterns, your fears and hurt feelings, your rigid expectations is peace. When you see these habits as simply objects that pass through your consciousness, you don’t need to make them your reality, and you’re peaceful. The smudges come, but you don’t grab them so they don’t stick to your clear window. Neti-neti—they’re not you.

Experience this right now, if you can. Take an old familiar thought you’ve been thinking about yourself for decades. Now, imagine it floating though your mind without taking hold of it. There it goes…and here you are, free of it in this moment.

Now, feel a familiar impulse to lash out or pull away. Let it move through, and it doesn’t disturb.

You can inhabit the space of presence, the stable ground of being, where you’re free of these personal complications. Here, your window is clean. There may be shadows that cross it, but they move through without creating trouble.

See past them, and here you are…so crystal clear that your inner light shines brightly, everywhere. Let your life emerge from this clarity. It’s a blessed life in true service to love.

What About You?

How’s your window? Can you find the space of clear seeing? I’d love to hear… And if you’re reading by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.

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Lovingly Being with Fear—A Video

This series on fear has raised some questions which I’m addressing in this video. How do we meet fear? What is the path through it to peace? I’m happy to hear your comments and questions.

You can find the previous posts for the series here:

And if you’ve received this post by email, or you can’t play the video, please click here to go to GailBrenner.com and to comment.

Always in love,

Gail

What’s Behind Your Mask of Fear?

behind_mask_fear“Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living in better conditions.”
~Hafiz

Note: This is the third in the series of posts on fear. Please find the first two here and here.

Get out the pumpkins. Bring on the ghosts. It’s Halloween, and we’re going to investigate the spooky nature of fear.

Boo!

Actually, the fear that you take so seriously in your life is just like a costume you put on. When you’re dressed as a dragon, are you really a dragon? No. You take off the costume, and here you are in your natural brilliance. You know what’s true and what’s not.

Fearful Thoughts Aren’t True

It’s exactly the same with fear. Believing fearful thoughts is like believing you’re a dragon because you’re wearing a dragon costume. Just because a thought appears doesn’t mean it’s true.

Turn your attention away from these thoughts, stop making them your reality, and what do you discover? You’re here—alive and enthusiastic for your life. You realize that you’re not the scaredy-cat you thought you were. You’re here as your natural brilliance.

So many of us live in perpetual fear, and as a recovered fear addict, I can tell you there is another way.

Let the Pain of Fear Inspire You

If you need some inspiration to turn toward fear, consider this. Unexplored emotions cause disease. They transmute your cells so your immune system doesn’t function properly. And they wear out your nervous system because it stays on high alert.

Add to that the effect of anxiety and agitation on your quality of life. It’s utterly exhausting to be afraid all the time.

Fear can be sneaky. It’s the feeling behind the subtle unease you feel, the precursor to a mind spinning in doubt and worry.

If you want to find your way through fear, here’s what’s most important. You need to participate fully.

Applying Guidance to Your Own Experience

Just reading these words right now and feeling hopeful or calm for the moment is not enough. For many people, fear is the underlying driver of their waking life. It may not even lose its grip on you when you’re asleep. And by now, the expression of fear in your body and mind is highly conditioned.

If you don’t bring your heart and soul to this process, fear will continue to reign, guaranteed. It’s not going to magically disappear.

Do you need to hear that again? Fear isn’t going to magically disappear. It requires your attention, your passion for truth, your love, your earnestness, your sincere desire for peace.

Make it a priority, above all else, to investigate, inquire into, and feel the sensations of fear. Commit to being consciously aware of fear until you see there’s nothing to be afraid of. Rinse and repeat a million times because each moment you bring conscious awareness to fear is a moment of freedom.

Then go out there and let your full authentic truth guide you.

My Journey with Fear

When I first realized how much fear had invaded me, I was on fire to be free. I refused to live one more second of my life with that constant anxious agitation I knew so well. Many times each day, whenever I felt an inkling of fear, I sat down on the sofa, closed my eyes, and let my attention rest in the vast field of awareness as the sensations came and went.

Sometimes there were a few sensations. Sometimes they were everywhere and strong. Nothing really happened—I was simply being with what was present in the moment. But it was a completely different way of approaching fear—an approach based on truth.

Eventually, the experience of fear subsided. I stopped worrying about the future because those thoughts got no attention. I no longer doubted myself because I didn’t play into the doubting thoughts. The fears about whether or not I was liked or if I was accomplishing enough were seen as not meaningful.

I realized that without these fear thoughts, everything is just fine. The peace I thought I would never know is my abiding experience.

Now I take none of the content of those thoughts personally. When they arise, they’re barely a whisper in my mind. I take a breath, open to sensations in the body, and melt into infinite being with a heart overflowing with love.

Fear was never who I am, and now I know that for sure.

What About You?

I see who you really are, and I know you’re not really the scared, limited one you think you are. You are whole, complete, lacking nothing. You might believe the mask of fear you wear, but I see right through it.

This truth is here for you to see in any moment. Abandon thoughts and welcome the physical sensations of fear with relaxed openness. Then be that openness. This is where peace lies.

I am happy to hear your insights, questions, reports, and frustrations. Please click here to go to GailBrenner.com to comment.

Always in love,

Gail

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How and Why to Get Familiar with Fear

familiar_with_fear“Happiness is simply to allow everything to be exactly as it is from moment to moment.”
~Rupert Spira

When we look closely enough, we discover that fear is at the root of our conditioned habits.

Take people pleasing as an example. Why do we need to please others? We’re afraid of rejection, abandonment, or being alone.

And what about an addiction or compulsive behaviors? Behind them is a a fear of meeting deeply-held tender feelings.

If fear remains unexplored, habits will continue to play out in your life, over and over. Turn toward fear with love and care, and these habits will start to lose their power to control you.

Finally, you’ll have space to live outside of them…in the land of freedom, openness, and infinite possibility…

The Inner Voice of Fear

Fear may not be obvious at first, so you have to look for it. It rarely appears in your face screaming, “I’m afraid!” It has other more indirect ways of showing up.

The voice of fear is all about no. It tells you that you won’t be successful, that you’re going to be rejected—and it points out every negative outcome imaginable.

The intention of the voice of fear is to keep you safe. And it does this by making you terrified of going one millimeter outside your comfort zone. It doesn’t want you to be bold and trust life.

Here is how fear speaks:

*It tells you what you should and shouldn’t do.
*It traps you in doubt, going back and forth in your mind so you can’t make decisions.
*It keeps your mind spinning in an ongoing flood of thoughts.
*It imagines the worst about the future.
*It questions your brilliance and creativity.
*It wants you to stay stuck in familiar ways of being, even if they’re hurtful.

The fear voice is contracted and edgy and relentlessly tells stories about what is wrong and not okay.

What to do with the mind in fear? Lose interest in these thoughts. Don’t believe them. Break up with them. Don’t let them define you and your reality.

Fearful thoughts are all about limiting you and making you believe things about yourself and the world that just aren’t true. Consider that there are endless possibilities to explore regardless of what the fear voice tells you.

Take a conscious breath, wake up to your experience right now in the present moment, and turn your attention away from these thoughts.

Without them, who are you? You’re still here and alive in your full magnificence.

Lean into a vast space inside that is not inhabited by fearful thoughts. Become familiar with not being limited by them. You’re opening to the full, lovely, boundless potential of you.

The Fear Body

Fear also shows up as physical sensations in the body. You might notice contractions, tightness, an energetic sense of unease.

Getting to know the physical expression of fear is essential to being free of it. Ignore these sensations, and fear will be running in the background. Meet them with loving awareness, and the stories of fear can’t take hold.

Sit quietly, then bring your attention away from your mind and into the sensations in your body. Don’t do anything with them—simply notice them and allow them to be present.

Be unattached to what happens. Let the sensations be here as long as they want to, as they change, intensify, disappear…it doesn’t matter. You’re giving them liberating space to be.

The point is not to get rid of these sensations—don’t see them as a problem to solve. The human body is built for survival, and these sensations help you stay vigilant so you can protect yourself.

But know this: meeting them in a field of welcoming awareness derails the pattern of fear from overtaking you.
~~~~~~~~
Unawareness keeps challenging habits firmly in place. And awareness softens. Get to know the inner voice of fear and the way fear appears in your body.

Every moment you welcome fear with conscious loving care is a moment of grace. You find yourself here…open, expanded, and overflowing with possibility.

Always in love,

Gail

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Are Hidden Fears Suppressing Your Happiness?

hidden_fears“When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result.”
~Byron Katie

If you’re like most people, there is more fear driving your behavior than you could ever imagine. Fear is behind just about every pattern you play out that doesn’t serve you. It’s the reason you get stuck, the subtle agitation you feel that keeps you from experiencing the peace you long for. If you want to be happy, it’s essential to learn how to deal with it.

Unexamined fear is at the root of our personal suffering. And bringing it out into the light of conscious awareness is a huge step toward freedom from it.

You can assume that fear will never go away. So if you’re waiting to be free of fear, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time.

Instead, here’s how to handle it. Get to know fear intimately. Bring it out of the shadows of your mind, heart, and body so you can recognize it.

Then, you can make a choice. You can let yourself be hijacked by fear and respond to its limits. Or you can turn away from it and choose the truth that wants to speak through you.

It’s a matter of limits or infinite possibility. Fear or love. Constriction or true freedom.

Do the work to meet fear lovingly. You’ll discover that the ease you seek is more available than you could ever imagine.

In the next few posts over the next week or two, we’ll look at fear more directly. How does it hide out in your programmed habits? How can you meet it in openness? If fear isn’t the driver, what is?

For now, I offer you this reflection. Sit quietly, and ask yourself:

  • Am I willing to get to know fear?
  • How does fear live in me?
  • How does it drive my behavior?

Feel free to share your discoveries in the comments. And if you’re reading this by email, click here to go to GailBrenner.com and to comment.

You’re about to embark on an exploration for truth and authenticity. Who are you really? Not the fearful self you think you are.

Always in love,

Gail

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