Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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The Tiny Insight That Changes Everything

“You must choose between your attachments and happiness.”
~Adyashanti

I used to live in a world of “if only.” If only the right partner would show up or I wouldn’t get caught in traffic or my family life would improve. It was an endless life of arrogance – and frustration. If only things would be the way I want them to be. Like I had any control over any of it.

Yes, I was able to enjoy myself at times, but I was attached to all kinds of outcomes, large and small, and I suffered for it. Every time I wanted something to happen in a certain way, I set myself up for frustration, stress, and disappointment.

In those years, disappointment was my middle name. I was really tired of it, but I just couldn’t figure out how to be happy.

Joyful Non-Attachment

Fast forward to now, and I can’t help but smile. Because the unfolding of life is so beautiful in whatever form it takes, and the joy of openness to what is, as it is, is unspeakable. If I have a name at all, it is ease…peace…this…

As I see now, it was always this way, peace was always available, but the power of my attachments kept it hidden from view.

Do you react to life with a big No? Do you want it your way, not the way it actually is? Is Now not good enough? Then you are suffering.

Why wait one moment longer to find your way out of this mess?

When you understand the suffering that attachments bring, wisdom will erode them, clarity will show you that being totally open is sane, peaceful, and true. Frustration and disappointment about what occurs?

Eliminated.

Are You Resisting Presence?

Every attachment contains within it a seed of resistance to what is. The present moment is seen as missing something or not as good as it could be. Attachments constrict what is acceptable, rather than opening to things as they are. Consider these:

  • Hope is about being attached to a better moment at some other time in the future. Are you caught by thinking that something is wrong with now?
  • An expectation desires a specific outcome, not necessarily the one you get. Can you let go of control (which you don’t have anyway) and lovingly receive what occurs?
  • Attachment to a desire limits the infinite possibilities that could happen and sets you up for unpleasant reactions. Can you want something, and take action to get it, without being attached to the outcome?

If your happiness is conditional on things happening the way you want them to, then you will be disappointed. Because your personal desire has nothing to do with it. It is simply a speck in the vast unfolding of life.

From Personal Desire to Profound Acceptance of Life

When you discover happiness, you realize that it is unconditional, not dependent on anything. This means that whatever occurs is received as is.  There is no desire except for what reality is offering you now.

And the happy byproduct? Negative emotional reactions simply don’t arise.

When you are free of attachments, here is what happens:

  • You move from “something other than this” to “oh, this.”
  • Effort to control is replaced by pure relaxation.
  • Doing gives way to receiving.
  • Thinking and story-telling dissolve into effortless being.

Oh, this…pure relaxation…receiving things as they are…effortless being.

Don’t give up your personal attachments. Yes, you read that right.  Rather than efforting to give them up, investigate them. Tell the truth about what they are and how they affect you. Then let your natural intelligence guide you to the peace beyond peace.

Struggling with attachments? Is non-attachment your experience? I’d love to hear…

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Listen Up! Your Inner Truth Is Speaking

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
~Charles R. Swindoll

It’s in there, I know it is. Underneath the mental noise, habits, and distractions, there it is, clear as day…your inner truth.

If you’ve ever been confused or wondered why you got into the same situation again for the millionth time, it might be worth your while to quiet down and listen. Your inner truth is always speaking – guiding you, pointing out the red flags, tapping you on the shoulder with clarity. The real you absolutely knows how to handle things wisely and walk the joyful path. Isn’t that amazing?

It’s simply a matter of listening.

Getting in the Way of Listening

We try way harder than necessary to figure everything out. Do you ruminate endlessly when you need to make a decision? Or get stuck in repetitive patterns that don’t serve you? Are you too busy moving forward to notice what is here now?

Listening to your inner truth is about getting out of your own way. Maybe you complicate matters by:

  • Thinking you have to come up with the answers
  • Moving too fast to be present
  • Letting the past and future consume your attention
  • Leading with should’s and have-to’s
  • Doubting what you know to be true

If you are trying to get to peace, trying to find happiness, trying to make your struggles disappear, there is a simple solution.

But it is a radical one, so you need to be ready.

Discover Yourself

You are being invited to do something you may never have done before. And that is stop. Stop the analyzing, the agitated thinking. Stop spinning in doubt and frustration. Stop doing what doesn’t bring you happiness.

Just for a moment, step away from all of that. You can always pick it up later, if you want.

Take a deep, cleansing breath. Realize that you are still very much alive even though you aren’t caught in your mind. Notice space and silence. Then listen.

Instead, of barreling through at warp speed, put down all the armor, and be one with life. Because you already are. Underneath all the swirling mind activity, the pressures, the confusion is you. Unconditioned. Undisturbed. Infinitely present. Boundlessly intelligent. Vast and spacious. Crystal clear.

How to Listen

From the perspective of aware presence, the rules are different than what you are used to.

Your starting point is to inhabit the space of not knowing. It’s such a relief to say the truth: that you don’t know and you can’t figure it out. Let yourself rest here.

Then be quiet and listen. Don’t worry if your mind goes crazy. Stay as the space in which thoughts appear. Simply be present and available to what arises now.

Notice: What is your body communicating in its own special language? What insights spontaneously appear? What do you realize that you have been ignoring?

Expand in openness and receptivity. Let go of anything you might expect or hope to hear. Allow anything to show itself to you without judging it.

At this point, it’s anyone’s game. Maybe the change you need to make will become clear. Maybe you will see that resting and doing nothing is the wisest path. Maybe your urge to defend will fall away, and the most beautiful heart-filled response will appear.

Let yourself be surprised by the capacity of your natural intelligence. Then bow to it by letting it guide your actions.

It’s so simple. Listen up, and your true magnificence will shine everywhere.

What happens when you listen to your inner truth? What gets in the way? I’d love to hear…

Listen Up! Your Inner Truth Is Speaking

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
~Charles R. Swindoll

It’s in there, I know it is. Underneath the mental noise, habits, and distractions, there it is, clear as day…your inner truth.

If you’ve ever been confused or wondered why you got into the same situation again for the millionth time, it might be worth your while to quiet down and listen. Your inner truth is always speaking – guiding you, pointing out the red flags, tapping you on the shoulder with clarity. The real you absolutely knows how to handle things wisely and walk the joyful path. Isn’t that amazing?

It’s simply a matter of listening.

Getting in the Way of Listening

We try way harder than necessary to figure everything out. Do you ruminate endlessly when you need to make a decision? Or get stuck in repetitive patterns that don’t serve you? Are you too busy moving forward to notice what is here now?

Listening to your inner truth is about getting out of your own way. Maybe you complicate matters by:

  • Thinking you have to come up with the answers
  • Moving too fast to be present
  • Letting the past and future consume your attention
  • Leading with should’s and have-to’s
  • Doubting what you know to be true

If you are trying to get to peace, trying to find happiness, trying to make your struggles disappear, there is a simple solution.

But it is a radical one, so you need to be ready.

Discover Yourself

You are being invited to do something you may never have done before. And that is stop. Stop the analyzing, the agitated thinking. Stop spinning in doubt and frustration. Stop doing what doesn’t bring you happiness.

Just for a moment, step away from all of that. You can always pick it up later, if you want.

Take a deep, cleansing breath. Realize that you are still very much alive even though you aren’t caught in your mind. Notice space and silence. Then listen.

Instead, of barreling through at warp speed, put down all the armor, and be one with life. Because you already are. Underneath all the swirling mind activity, the pressures, the confusion is you. Unconditioned. Undisturbed. Infinitely present. Boundlessly intelligent. Vast and spacious. Crystal clear.

How to Listen

From the perspective of aware presence, the rules are different than what you are used to.

Your starting point is to inhabit the space of not knowing. It’s such a relief to say the truth: that you don’t know and you can’t figure it out. Let yourself rest here.

Then be quiet and listen. Don’t worry if your mind goes crazy. Stay as the space in which thoughts appear. Simply be present and available to what arises now.

Notice: What is your body communicating in its own special language? What insights spontaneously appear? What do you realize that you have been ignoring?

Expand in openness and receptivity. Let go of anything you might expect or hope to hear. Allow anything to show itself to you without judging it.

At this point, it’s anyone’s game. Maybe the change you need to make will become clear. Maybe you will see that resting and doing nothing is the wisest path. Maybe your urge to defend will fall away, and the most beautiful heart-filled response will appear.

Let yourself be surprised by the capacity of your natural intelligence. Then bow to it by letting it guide your actions.

It’s so simple. Listen up, and your true magnificence will shine everywhere.

What happens when you listen to your inner truth? What gets in the way? You are welcome to share…

Five Must-Do Actions to Uncover Your Natural Brilliance

“We become what we love. What we put first in our lives is what we receive from life.”
~Guy Finley

In case you haven’t noticed yet, the truth of who you are is intelligent, creative, and naturally fulfilled. This is your essence, your true nature, that is non-negotiable and undeniable.

You don’t have life – you are life. You don’t find peace – you are infinitely peaceful at the core.

But sometimes the clouds move in, and your inner glow seems to be hidden. You want to be happy, yet fear deters you. You long for an end to suffering, but you just don’t know how to go about it. You are desperate for your light to shine even though it seems very, very dim. (Light? What light?)

When we are perfectly aligned with life in its purest form, it unfolds effortlessly. But for most of us, effort is required for a time. It helps tremendously to know what you should focus on and how you should handle your reactions and troublesome habits.

And if you’re really serious about releasing your inner brilliance, you will make it a practice to apply these actions as often as possible during your daily life. This is what I have done for years, and it’s been a joy to know in my own experience that the clouds move on, and the light keeps getting brighter and brighter.

Familiarize yourself with these five actions, then, when the moment is right, engage with them. Put them into practice, notice the results, and prepare yourself to be surprised. For each one is a doorway to your limitless light.

1. Let go of any stories you are telling yourself.

We tell ourselves stories about the past and worry about what might happen in the future. Stories can be dramatic, scary, or sad. Some common ones are:

  • I’m a victim.
  • I’m no good.
  • I can’t.
  • I’m not worthy.
  • I deserve…
  • I should or shouldn’t….

No story serves the release of your inner brilliance. Stories categorize and define. They convince you that you are a fraction of who you really are. And they divert your attention from what is real, free, and alive in you.

Lose interest in all stories – yes, all of them. Shed the veils of thinking, and watch your brilliance take over.

2. Listen to the whisper voice of your natural self and let it guide you.

Once the roar of thinking dies down, there is the space for you to listen. Spend time being quiet. Just sit, and be infinitely open and available.

Guidance is always here. Your job is to listen and follow it.

Are you willing?

3. Don’t feed the drama of your emotions.

Emotions can easily get you side-tracked. Say, “No more.” See that emotions come and go like weather. Don’t worship at the altar of your feelings or let them direct your precious life.

Witness your emotions, but don’t get involved with them. They are not a reliable source of information or a signpost. Simply let them be, then the natural direction of your brilliance will unfold. Try it out, and see if this is true for you.

4. Follow what makes you happy.

Don’t be afraid of happiness, and don’t protect yourself from experiencing joy. Turn away from a need to please others or to live according to your should’s and expectations. Don’t be bound by pressures of any kind.

Now is your chance to be free. And now, and now. It’s very simple. If you let happiness guide you:

  • What would you do?
  • How would you relate to your stories and emotions?
  • How do you want to show up in the moments of your life?

Align yourself with happiness, and your natural brilliance will overflow everywhere.

5. Be completely open in your mind and heart.

If you are closed and resistant, you are locking yourself into a very small room. Instead, cultivate a sense of curiosity about everything.

  • Maybe you can be more fulfilled than you could ever imagine. (What is possible for you?)
  • Maybe you can be non-reactive and peaceful. (How would that affect your inner world and your relationships?)
  • Maybe what you identify as problems actually get solved when you relate to them differently. (What would you do with all the energy that is freed up?)

Be open to recognizing and questioning all assumptions. You will be well on the road to living as the infinite brilliance that you are.

It is true that you get out what you put in. Find the place inside you that can’t bear the suffering and confusion and troubled habits one moment longer. Practice these five actions continually.

Then step out of the way, and be your beautiful, shining self.

Do you practice these actions? What happens? Do you notice any obstacles to these practices? I’d love to hear…

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Why Being Open Is the Key to Your Happiness

“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable.”

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Are you closed, defensive, or shut down in any area of your life? If so, then you know how to suffer. Here’s the recipe:

  • Don’t be open to new perspectives
  • Be unwilling to question your thoughts
  • Don’t try to think and act differently
  • Stay attached to your emotions and your need to be right
  • Fight for your right to continue being a victim
  • Resist getting help
  • Refuse to change

Not Necessarily Stuck

Suffering is inevitable in our human journey. We all experience challenges as we grow up. You learn strategies and develop beliefs that protect you when you are young, but ultimately don’t serve you.

You get conditioned to avoid, rebel, and mold yourself to please others.

And you act out patterns, unconsciously, without recognizing their origin. You might even wear them like a banner, defending your position and denying your need to change. This is the nature of being human, which touches into so much compassion for the tenderness of it all – in ourselves and others.

But here’s the clincher:

Suffering may be inevitable, but being stuck in suffering is not.

It’s miraculous that you can bring your attention into your inner world, question your thoughts and investigate the reality of your feelings, and discover that freedom is here – so close and available.

It’s amazing that it is possible dispel the distorted ideas and the needs and fears that drive you. And it all begins with openness.

Openness breathes fresh air into the stale cave of your conditioned habits.

The Value of Openness

You might be holding onto your habits like a cloak, but openness invites you into the purity of your heart prior to any conditioning. It suggests the possibility of being free of patterns and identities. It paves the way for returning to wholeness.

When you are open, you don’t assume anything to be true. You are innocent, like a baby. Humble and available. You are interested in inner reflection, and you lead from curiosity. You experiment and explore.

You can receive teachings and intelligent advice.  You shed ideas and attachments to discover the freedom that lies underneath them.

Opening to Resistance, Too

Openness may be the key to your happiness, but resistance needs to be respected. If you find yourself unwilling and stuck, can you open to that as well?

Be kind and accepting of yourself even when your heels are dug in and you refuse to budge. Let yourself be as you are in your defensiveness without adding another layer of resistance.

Feel what it’s like to be closed to its very core. Be totally stuck without the story of being stuck. Opening to this raw experience is the path back to yourself.

Openness is a virtue, and this virtue will set you free.

Where are you closed and stuck? Where are you open? I’d love to hear…

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