Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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The Only Thing That Matters, and It’s Already Alive in You

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.”
~Rumi

Sometimes things are so obvious, and so much taken for granted, that we fail to notice their power. You might be asking why you aren’t happy and at peace, why you feel anxious or insecure, stuck in the past, or limited in your creativity.

Well, the answer is right under your nose, closer than you would ever imagine. Isn’t that amazing?  And here it is:

What you are interested in is what is created in your life.

“Interest” – not a particularly sexy word, but its power is huge. When you are interested in something, it attracts you, draws your attention, and arouses your curiosity. You are engaged and involved with it (like my new puppy who keeps stealing my socks).

And interest is always happening. In any moment, your attention is somewhere. What are you interested in – right now?

The Tunnel Vision of Habits

Most of us have developed habits that determine what we are interested in. If you are prone to feeling tense and agitated, you will be interested in fearful thoughts. If personal drama is compelling to you, you will foster these stories through gossip and internal monologues. If you are bent on avoiding painful or challenging feelings, you will be interested in compulsively shopping, drinking, socializing, texting, working – anything but being still.

And if you are convinced that who you are is insufficient, limited, and needing approval, your attention will be squarely on what you lack and need – not on the fullness of wonder and possibility.

If you feed fear, drama, avoidance, or neediness, what will be the result? A life that manifests fear, drama, avoidance, or neediness. Be brave, and check it out in your own experience. What are you interested in?

The Dynamics of Desire

When you take an honest look, you might discover that what you are interested in is not what you really want. You want peace and ease, yet, in reality, you promote conflict and division within yourself and your relationships. You want contentment, but you foster sadness and regret. You want to express yourself fully, yet you actually stunt creative impulses.

Where your interest goes, especially if you are acting out habits, creates an environment that keeps you mired in discontent and limitation, walled off from your deepest heart desire.

What to you really want – and what are you interested in?

If these are not aligned, then something needs to change or things will stay exactly as they are. You are being asked to shake up your familiar ways of being. And if these aren’t working for you anyway, what do you have to lose?

The Sacred Shift

As you realize what you have been focusing your precious attention on, you stand at the precipice of making a sacred choice:

  • Do you want to know your true magnificence?
  • Do you want the pain to stop?
  • Do you want to realize that you are inseparable from peace, love, and fulfillment?

Then lose interest in stories, needs, behaviors, thoughts, emotions, physical sensations – these are all objects that come and go. They arise and pass on, proving they are temporary, unreal, and far from the truth of you.

When you buy into them, they create an illusion of who you think you are. But they lead to false identities that cause suffering and mask the purity and freshness of now.

Instead, become very interested in the space of awareness in which these objects appear. Realize that before any idea, emotion, or event, there is you, aware and alive. How could you perceive any object without first being aware of it?

Be interested in the fact that you are aware, now, right in this moment. As awareness, do you resist anything? Is there a problem? Are you happy?

Let your interest rest in awareness. There is a natural intelligence that will guide you to do exactly what you need to do. You can trust that thoughts will appear when required by the situation. You realize you don’t have to spend your energy trying to figure anything out.

If you are suffering, take a look to see what you are actually interested in. Then refocus to simply being aware. Be willing to let go of familiar ideas of who you are and discover unfathomable peace, intimacy beyond words, and unbounded happiness – right here.

What do you discover when you recognize where your interest is going? What do you really want? I’d love to hear…

 

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The Wisdom of Forgetting Everything You Know

“Right now, and in every now-moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something – more money, security, affection – or you are living from your deep heart, opening as the entire moment, and giving what you most deeply desire to give, without waiting.”
~David Deida

Just for a minute, can we please stop frantically trying to control, plan, and delude ourselves into thinking we know what we don’t know? Do you spend your time preparing for every possible outcome and worrying about all the negative consequences that could befall you?

We are so afraid to let go, to just be, to allow the unfolding of this marvelous life without getting in the way. This fear keeps us paralyzed and stuck. And longing for the peace that is possible – if only we would put down all the efforts we make to know.

There is no greater gift you can give yourself than the invitation to enter the world of not knowing.

Why? If you are always going to know what you know now, things will always stay the same. How could they change? And by thinking you know what will happen, you are closing yourself off to the unimaginable – endless peace, unspeakable joy, awe and wonder.

If you cling to what is familiar and comfortable, that is where you will live. Until you decide to take the plunge and let yourself not know.

And consider this: Is the familiar and comfortable working for you? If you are happy, there is nothing to be done. Yay! But if you struggle with people and emotions, if you are frustrated when the world doesn’t go according to your plan, forget what you know and take a bold, brazen step into the unknown.

Getting Unstuck

Here is what not knowing looks like:

  • You wake up on a weekend morning without any plans, and you let your day unfold.
  • You stop saying the same unproductive statement to your partner and let yourself not know what will happen next.
  • You sit and take a breath rather than propelling yourself forward into the next activity.
  • You press pause on a habit without knowing what you will do or say next.
  • You let your routine fall away so you can be guided by the natural flow of things.
  • You let go of, “I have to…” and let yourself rest for a moment.
  • You tell yourself the truth about the motivation behind the things you do, and surrender to not knowing.
  • You forget who you think you are. Instead of same old, same old, you show up fresh, new, and unencumbered.

Just contemplating any of the examples on this list may make you gasp for air. How could you have no plans for a whole day or stop carrying out familiar routines?

How to Forget What You Know

Center yourself in the wisdom of not knowing:

  • You are aligned with the truth of things as they are.
  • You open to the possibility of freedom from habits that are limiting and painful.
  • You live in reality and not in your mind-constructed version of a false reality.
  • You are here, alive, embodied, available.

Then, from this space of your truest desire, simply stop. Have the courage to let life unfold. Put the mind aside and be receptive to what happens next. This is the sacred shift from doing to being.

Maybe you’re afraid you won’t get out of bed all day or you’ll end up like a slug on the couch. Maybe you fear not being able to contain joy or love. Maybe you wonder if your life circumstances will change dramatically.

It is natural to be afraid to let go of the known. Remember that life wants you to live fully and to express yourself in beautiful and amazing ways. But you can’t know what they are.

Be willing to forget everything you know – about yourself, others, and the way you think the world works. Stop, be quiet, and don’t know. You just might discover exactly what you have been looking for your whole life.

What is your experience with the unknown? Does fear keep you stuck? I’d love to hear…

Note: Please feel free to take a look at the book written by one of our readers, Galen Pearl. Here is my review: “10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There) is an absolute treasure. Galen is a master story-teller who skillfully guides readers right to the heart of what it takes to be happy. She so beautifully walks the walk. Follow in her footsteps, and you, too, will radiate happiness from the inside out.” All proceeds from the book are donated to a program for disabled people.

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The Value of Staying – Even When It’s Hard

“When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result.”
~Byron Katie

A friend of mine took a yoga class the other day, the kind in which you stay in the poses for a really long time, and it was fascinating to hear of his experience. Bliss, relaxation, struggle, pain, comfort, resistance, release – all of it happened in a matter of minutes.

This is the value of staying – even when it’s hard. You get to actually experience reality. You get to be with what’s going on. And you get to recognize that simply being aware is the gateway to the deepest peace.

Are You a Runner?

Our modern society teaches us to run. We are masters at avoiding, distracting, and resisting. We think that if we keep moving forward, to the world out there and away from ourselves, that we will find the peace and happiness that we long for.

This tendency feeds all kinds of problems – addictions, habits, frustration, alienation, bitterness, envy, personal inadequacy. You live in need rather than fullness, lack rather than peace and contentment.

It’s an endless cycle of suffering and heartache, that maybe you are caught in. Have you ever gotten the object or job or relationship you were craving? How long did your happiness last before you weren’t so satisfied anymore?

The radical choice for all of life’s ills is to stay. Really, it’s the only sane solution. Continuing to avoid yourself and seek something other than what is here right now keeps you completely stuck. Mired in wanting. Consumed by dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment. Disconnected from yourself and from love.

Are you happy and content? Then you are happy and content in the present. You aren’t locked into desire or distraction. You aren’t disturbed by negative thoughts about yourself or the past or future. You are simply here, enjoying the moment.

How to Stay

The instructions for staying are so simple: don’t do anything and simply be.

  • Recognize that you are aware, and center your attention in awareness.
  • Get familiar with this space of non-doing. It is open, peaceful, boundless, alive.
  • Anything can arise in it, and you stay as awareness.

It’s really that simple. Rest in non-doing for a few minutes to start, and right away your whole perspective will shift. Then spend as many moments as you like in this quiet space. Don’t make it a chore. Do it for enjoyment and freedom, for ease and well being.

As you stay as awareness, you will notice thoughts or feelings or the tendency to move into familiar habits. Instead of starting to rev up and do again, simply stay with being. This is exactly what my friend did in his yoga class. No matter what arose, he stayed and let everything be.

It might seem unnatural at first to stay, but eventually you realize that it is relaxing, effortless, and natural. Your attention rests in being, and from here, nothing that arises is a problem.

Glorious Staying

If playing out conditioned habits isn’t working for you and you are looking for a peaceful state that you think is not present now, experiment with staying. Here is what you might experience:

  • The force to carry out habits and patterns weakens. You realize you can stay and let the momentum to do run itself down rather than acting on habits that aren’t serving you anyway.
  • You are flexible and open. Running on automatic keeps you caught in one way of being. Staying offers options, insights, and clarity you haven’t had the space to see.
  • Presence shows you the truth about your experience. You see thoughts as simply mental chatter, feelings as stories and physical sensations that don’t have any essential meaning. As aware presence, you are alive, functioning well, and totally okay.

Staying creates the possibility for you to tap into being. Without the distraction of mind-made pressures, your idea of yourself as a separate person with needs and desires to fulfill falls away.

Miraculously, you realize you are one with the totality of being and intimate with all things – right now. You are endlessly peaceful, completely content, seeing and being love with no separation. This is the possibility for you.

Staying starts a revolution. Are you in?

What makes it hard to stay? What is your experience with staying? I’d love to hear…

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How to Relearn Your Loveliness

“Sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness.”
Galway Kinnell

You, at the core of your being, are so incredibly lovely. Have you forgotten? Well, this is your reminder.

Maybe it’s necessary to relearn your loveliness. Just reading these words, can you find it?

Beneath the habits and struggles, beyond the mind-imposed limitations, outside the noise of should’s and have to’s, you are lovely. Take away everything that troubles you – the dramas, disappointments, inadequacies. Regrets of the past, worries about the future. These are figments of the imagination that seem so real.

Always Here

But in truth they are insubstantial. In this moment, you can turn away from them, and they gradually dissolve. Poof! Gone in an instant, just for now, and now, and now.

And you remain, the loveliness that you are. The magnificence of being aware. The awe of what appears right now – this loving breath, these beautiful sounds, the movement of your limbs like a ballet, the aliveness of every physical sensation.

Look into anyone’s eyes deep enough, and there it will be. Beyond perceived separation between you and me, the source is lovely aware presence. No name, no gender, no role or status. It’s where we meet as one in love.

All you need to do to remember your loveliness is to pay attention. The signs are everywhere because everything overflows with it, all parts of the whole that is you, alive with presence in this very moment.

Never Not Lovely

You can pretend you are damaged, fake your unworthiness, masquerade as limited and small. But nothing that has ever happened can touch your loveliness.

You are lovely, free, and alive prior to any disappointments, despite anything you have done, no matter what anyone says.

What do you need to relearn your loveliness? It’s the simple remembering of what is always here.

  • Let your mind and body be spacious and still – just for a moment or two to start.
  • Take a generous breath when you feel stuck.
  • Notice beauty in all things.
  • Stop the madness of incessant activity.
  • Follow what brings you joy,happiness, and peace.

Put your mind on pause with all its complications, and perceive reality with the innocence of a newborn. Let all labels fall away. No difference between space and objects – all part of the totality. No preconceived notions or mindless habits. Try living from here, with your heart open wide.

Aligned in truth – intimate, lovely, and fully alive.

Have you forgotten your loveliness? How do you relearn it? I’d love to hear…
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Listen Up! Your Inner Truth Is Speaking

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
~Charles R. Swindoll

It’s in there, I know it is. Underneath the mental noise, habits, and distractions, there it is, clear as day…your inner truth.

If you’ve ever been confused or wondered why you got into the same situation again for the millionth time, it might be worth your while to quiet down and listen. Your inner truth is always speaking – guiding you, pointing out the red flags, tapping you on the shoulder with clarity. The real you absolutely knows how to handle things wisely and walk the joyful path. Isn’t that amazing?

It’s simply a matter of listening.

Getting in the Way of Listening

We try way harder than necessary to figure everything out. Do you ruminate endlessly when you need to make a decision? Or get stuck in repetitive patterns that don’t serve you? Are you too busy moving forward to notice what is here now?

Listening to your inner truth is about getting out of your own way. Maybe you complicate matters by:

  • Thinking you have to come up with the answers
  • Moving too fast to be present
  • Letting the past and future consume your attention
  • Leading with should’s and have-to’s
  • Doubting what you know to be true

If you are trying to get to peace, trying to find happiness, trying to make your struggles disappear, there is a simple solution.

But it is a radical one, so you need to be ready.

Discover Yourself

You are being invited to do something you may never have done before. And that is stop. Stop the analyzing, the agitated thinking. Stop spinning in doubt and frustration. Stop doing what doesn’t bring you happiness.

Just for a moment, step away from all of that. You can always pick it up later, if you want.

Take a deep, cleansing breath. Realize that you are still very much alive even though you aren’t caught in your mind. Notice space and silence. Then listen.

Instead, of barreling through at warp speed, put down all the armor, and be one with life. Because you already are. Underneath all the swirling mind activity, the pressures, the confusion is you. Unconditioned. Undisturbed. Infinitely present. Boundlessly intelligent. Vast and spacious. Crystal clear.

How to Listen

From the perspective of aware presence, the rules are different than what you are used to.

Your starting point is to inhabit the space of not knowing. It’s such a relief to say the truth: that you don’t know and you can’t figure it out. Let yourself rest here.

Then be quiet and listen. Don’t worry if your mind goes crazy. Stay as the space in which thoughts appear. Simply be present and available to what arises now.

Notice: What is your body communicating in its own special language? What insights spontaneously appear? What do you realize that you have been ignoring?

Expand in openness and receptivity. Let go of anything you might expect or hope to hear. Allow anything to show itself to you without judging it.

At this point, it’s anyone’s game. Maybe the change you need to make will become clear. Maybe you will see that resting and doing nothing is the wisest path. Maybe your urge to defend will fall away, and the most beautiful heart-filled response will appear.

Let yourself be surprised by the capacity of your natural intelligence. Then bow to it by letting it guide your actions.

It’s so simple. Listen up, and your true magnificence will shine everywhere.

What happens when you listen to your inner truth? What gets in the way? I’d love to hear…