Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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Archives for February 2022

In Love with Life

“Just know that you are above and beyond all things and thoughts. What you want to be, you are it already. Desire nothing, for you lack nothing. The very seeking prevents you from finding.”
~Nisargadatta Maharaj

If you look closely, you’ll see that the mind always tells you there is something wrong with this moment.

It tells you that what’s happening is not as it should be and that something needs to change. It draws you into believing you’re not good enough and need to figure out how to fix yourself. It says that people should be doing something different than they are actually doing.

The mind almost always inclines to the negative. It will tell you that the peace you really want is “out there,” available at some future time…if only you knew how to find it, if only you weren’t such a mess, if only you read the right book or watched the right video.

When we live in this “if only” mindset, how can we feel anything but sad, alone, and anxious? Because our present moment experience is defined by lack and inadequacy.

Caught in the mind’s grip, we think we’re missing what we need to be happy. And we’re disconnected from the love and freedom available right now.

Isn’t this how most of us live?

Thankfully, there is a solution to this problem of lack, and, no matter what you believe, true happiness is actually possible. But the compulsive mind won’t help you know it—you need to look outside the mind.

What’s amazing to realize is that in every moment there is a sacred choice.

  • We can believe our thoughts—or take a breath.
  • We can think about a better future—or open lovingly to what’s happening right now.
  • We can stay stuck in the rut of robotic patterns—or shift to expanded consciousness and relax into infinite possibilities.

I am absolutely in love with the experience of being present. I love the sensitivity of being alive to feelings and sensations. I love feeling the tenderness of emotions and the deep relationships that are possible without fear and defensiveness.

And I love the spaciousness—the timeless, formless energy of pure being—that holds everything with total acceptance.

Sure, we could all be gripped by conditioned patterns if we want to be. But things get interesting once we fully understand that a choice is possible. We wake up into being conscious in the moments of our lives.

We feel into the limitation that patterns bring us. We become aware of how much the mind judges ourselves and others. And we answer the call of the heart into something greater.

Thoughts are limiting—and awareness is vast and infinite. Thoughts are repetitive and negative—and directly engaging with life reveals unlimited possibilities.

It doesn’t matter how many times you miss the opportunity to choose—because there is always another one. Every moment is so fresh, so alive!

Turn toward yourself and away from your thoughts. Step into the fullness of the present, the boundless space of being aware.

Then open to whatever you encounter with the deepest welcoming and an overflowing heart. This is what I love, and I’m sure you will love it, too.

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Getting Back on Track

“Insofar as we’re not conscious, we’re not free.”
~Gabor Maté

Just about every day I speak with people who tell me how they get off track. They feel disappointed when their expectations aren’t met, get trapped in the inner critical voice, bring irritation into their relationships, or believe the thoughts that tell them they’re inadequate.

What is happening that creates this reality? Our attention is pulled into the stories that run through our minds while our feelings are being ignored.

The possibility of freedom disappears as the machine of compulsive, unconscious behavior takes over. Yes, we’re acting and speaking, but we’re not actually aware of what we’re doing. We don’t realize that we’re living from confusion.

We’re like robots, lost in the forest of our habits with no access to our humanness, our compassion, our sensitivity, and our capacity to be aware. Sound familiar?

Getting back on track, we wake up to realize we’ve been disconnected from ourselves. It’s a moment of grace when conscious awareness is revealed to illuminate what’s actually happening in our experience.

Like a breath of fresh air, we come home to ourselves. Turning away from the mind and outer world, we look inward—with loving curiosity—to notice what emotions are present and how we feel in our bodies.

That’s how we begin to know what we’re actually doing and what’s driving us.

As a support to get back on track, inquiry may be helpful. Consider these essential questions that take you out of the confusion of conditioned reactions and into the depth of your true heart’s desire. Ask yourself:

  • What is important to me in this moment? How do I want this moment to be?
  • What do I value?
  • How can I express myself to be aligned with what I really want?

A client came in humbled by the power of these questions. She told me that in the past week she posed them every time she felt irritated and discovered that they brought her back on track where she could open fully to her present moment experience.

She saw that her personal needs and reactive emotions were not what she really wanted for those moments, and she reconnected with a generous, loving heart, a relaxed mind, and the true desire for her own and others’ happiness. She left the drama of her thoughts so she could find calm and see things clearly.

Then she had the insight to apply these questions to all moments, no matter what the situation. She couldn’t contain her excitement about the possibility for her whole way of being in her life to be affected in a profound way—infused with awareness, love, and truth.

By asking these questions, we go beyond the blinders of our patterns and expand into openness and clarity. We’re present, aware, and fully alive.

As an example, consider a relationship you’re in where there is friction or disconnection. Your conversation with this person loops around in the same dissatisfying dynamic.

Now with a fresh view, how do you want your next interaction with this person to be? From your deepest truth, what is important to you?

Embodying these insights, how can you show up differently? Can you take care of your inner reactions, listen deeply with curiosity, be a bit more vulnerable?

When you’re triggered, lost, and things feel challenging, try asking these essential questions.

They just might bring you out of the fog of conditioned habits and home to yourself. And here you are, aligned with truth, with eyes and heart wide open.

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