Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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Archives for October 2021

Are You Afraid of Being Still?

”I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.”
~Alan Watts

Are you afraid of stillness? Are you afraid of being quiet, of relaxing into yourself, of being intimate with your own experience?

I understand this fear. In our culture today, we’re highly conditioned to avoid our inner experience and just keep going. Have you noticed?

We thoughtlessly carry on with our busy lives and cluttered minds. We pick up our devices way more than we need to, and we move fast (going where?), so that doing something radical—just being still—seems intensely uncomfortable.

Then we complain about being anxious and unfulfilled while we search for the relationship or material possession or exciting life circumstance that we think will make us happy.

We’re afraid of what we might find if we stop all the distraction.

Choosing the conscious life is profound and sacred. You just know there’s something more than your everyday material existence. You long for deeper connection in the here-and-now.

You won’t find what you’re looking for by searching “out there” in the world. The call of the conscious life is to stop the effort of searching…and be still.

Stop…and take a breath… Stop…and be… Stop…open and expand…

This is the gateway into intimacy with yourself and all of life.

Then you’re poised to meet what arises in a vast space of unconditional acceptance. Because this is where peace lies. The still openness of your true nature holds everything in love with no resistance.

Finally in this stillness, whatever you find is naturally welcomed—sensations in your body, places where you’re shut down, the fear and grief of your inner child, old stories that no longer fit who you are.

What an insight to realize all that’s appearing that you were too busy—or afraid—to see! This is the movement of turning inward toward yourself that sets you free.

Settling into the stillness beyond the thoughts and feelings that you notice is an undefinable sense of well-being, a silent boundless field that effortlessly is.

It feels like coming home. It’s pure being you can’t find in your feelings or in situations in the world. And it can’t be figured out in your mind.

Rest here in this boundless open space that resists nothing.

Then bring this inner stillness into the activities of your daily life, being intimate with what is.

  • Slow down and be aware of life through your senses as you wash the dishes or walk down the street.
  • Feel into the experiences of beauty, gratitude, or tenderness when they appear.
  • Take the time to listen deeply with your whole heart.

This is action infused with stillness…the sacred path of the conscious life.

Are you afraid of being still? Gently turn within. There are treasures just waiting to be discovered…

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Relax and Be

“When by the flood of your tears the inner and the outer have fused into one,
you will find Her whom you sought with such anguish,
nearer than the nearest, the very breath of life, the very core of every heart.”
~Sri Anandamayi Ma

Whether you consciously know it or not, the truth of your essential nature is and always has been infinite awareness and boundless love.

Nothing needs to be changed in you to have this realization—it’s a matter of noticing what is already the case.

Yet, here we are living the human life. We react, we get stuck, we yearn for more…

We don’t feel like we’re resting in boundless love. We’re caught up in the sense of separation, which gives rise to the belief that something about us needs to be fixed.

In the moments when the sense of separation relaxes—when we stop thinking about ourselves and our problems—we find that we’re more available to being present with things as they are. These are times when we’re not clouded by need and fear, and we’re just here and awake, receiving everything in openness.

Laughing with someone…watering your plants…sitting down for a break after being busy all day…enjoying a bite of food…

You may experience these simple, easeful moments more than you realize, so be on the lookout for them. They’re what’s already here before the mind starts telling you what’s wrong.

If you take an honest look at your experience, you may find that your mind-driven habits are old news. Needing to please others, keeping yourself too busy, using substances to soothe the pain…

Check to see if they’re still necessary—because along with these activities of the separate self is the underlying call to simply relax and be.

Can you feel it?

Little by little, we let ourselves come into alignment with what is already true…the simple reality of our right now experience…here before the mind convinces us that we’re separate. It’s waiting for us, the homecoming we all long for, so close and available that we miss it.

How to find this radiant aliveness of simply being present?

  • Slow down;
  • Turn your attention inward—away from the outer world and your mind;
  • Notice the sensations of breathing;
  • Find spaciousness around anything you’re experiencing;
  • Relax and be…

From here we’re available to bring compassion to painful feelings that arise. We catch the conditioned movement of our patterns and let it be without acting on it.

We breathe with our nervous system as it begins to calm. We have space to feel quiet, grateful, loving, and free.

It’s such a kind way to be. And the only thing that’s changed is that we’ve stopped paying attention to the stressful mind.

Do you feel the call to relax and be? Surrender to it…let it have you… You’ll discover the infinite peace that’s here at the core of every heart…

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When Anxiety Won’t Let Go…

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.”
~Hafiz

Are you feeling more anxious these days than usual? I’m sure you’re not alone.

These are times of uncertainty, which means we just don’t know what the future will bring.

And when we don’t know, what happens? The mind starts creating every possible scary scenario. What if this happens…what if that happens… Then anxiety lodges itself in your body.

Let’s first take a moment to thank the mind, as it’s only doing its job as part of our human survival system. It tries to think about all the bad things that could happen so we’ll be prepared to act. The survival system doesn’t want to be surprised by an unknown threat. It wants to feel safe and secure.

But here’s the catch—we’re not just a human survival system. We’re expressions of the unbounded aliveness that’s beyond human form. The momentum of this aliveness beckons us to return to our natural being and expand into the love, peace, and happiness we somehow know are possible.

When we believe what anxious thoughts tell us, we’re living in a fear-fueled fantasy in our minds, separate from aliveness, awareness, and truth.

The more we think these thoughts, the more we reinforce false views of ourselves and the world. And the more we’re contracted into fear and stress.

Being stuck in anxiety about the future is different from doing what you need to do. Maybe a scary scenario will actually happen—and then you will deal with it in practical ways the best you can. Anxiety comes from spinning in stressful thoughts.

So how do we untangle ourselves from these anxious thoughts and return to the
truth of ourselves? Ready? Get fed up with the suffering they bring to you and learn to not believe what they’re telling you.

Your attention is like the most nourishing food. What you pay attention to is what grows in your awareness.

Pay attention to a hypervigilant mind that’s trying to keep you safe, and all those fears and what if’s become your living reality.

But stop believing the content of your thoughts, and your attention is free to come back to the actual here-and-now reality, not the false one living in your head.

It was a turning point in my path when I realized that just about all of my thoughts:

  • Were not actually true; and
  • Didn’t bring peace and happiness to my life.

I wanted peace more than anything, so I started experimenting with not believing what my thoughts were telling me. I just gave up letting them take over my experience. They kept appearing, but I saw them as random noise in my head, rather than something important I needed to pay attention to.

Instead, I stayed present in the actual moments of life right here, right now, and I discovered that everything was just fine. In fact, only here do I find enjoyment, enthusiasm, contentment, gratitude, and love. I stopped worrying about the future, trusting I could deal with whatever comes.

Right now, take a moment to recognize the thoughts that are making you anxious. Notice how persistent they are and how you feel when you’re thinking them.

Then stop feeding them with your attention.

There’s no magic, no fairy dust or special technique that will take these thoughts away. You just need to stop being interested in them as much as possible.

What do you do instead? Appreciate the life that’s here right now. Take a breath…feel the physical sensations in you body, but don’t give them any meaning. Maybe even stop using the word “anxiety.”

With your attention in deep connection with the present moment, you’re simply here with what’s real…alive, breathing, and grateful…

Don’t be concerned when the anxious thoughts keep reappearing, because that’s what they do. Each time is fresh. Each time is your opportunity to lose interest in them and return to peace.

Keep trusting in the life force that is infinitely greater than your false personal self. Keep returning to the aliveness that is who you are.

This is the anchor that will set you free.

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