“Transforming yourself is a means of giving light to the whole world.”
~Ramana Maharshi
I talk a lot about accepting your present moment experience. Someone recently asked what exactly I’m inviting you to accept, ​​​​​​​and I’m sure she isn’t the only one with this question.
- Should you accept abusive situations?​​​​​​​
- Should you accept that you don’t know how to stand up to others?​​​​​​​
- Should you accept that you’re single when you don’t want to be?​​​​​​​
If you accept everything, does nothing ever change?
Accept and Welcome Everything
Acceptance is not about giving up and resigning yourself to staying stuck in painful situations. It’s not about putting up with anyone or anything and being miserable.
It’s a full-on welcoming of what is true right now that shows you where you’re stuck—and it paves the way forward to freedom.
Say you feel frustrated with yourself because you let people take advantage of you. If this is your experience, I imagine you’re suffering because of it. Do you just have to live with this way of being forever?
Here is what’s arising in your in-the-moment experience:
- ​The feeling of frustration, and​​​​​​​
- The belief about yourself that you can’t say no or set appropriate boundaries.​​​​​​​
Explore deeper into your present moment experience, and you’ll probably find a fear of rejection or of not being liked.
Putting any story about your feelings aside for the moment, the invitation is to fully accept the fear and frustration that are present. Without analyzing anything or trying to problem-solve, you simple open to the feelings that are here, sitting quietly and noticing the sensations present in your body.
If you offer this acceptance to your feelings for a little while, you’ll probably start to feel more peaceful.
Right away, you can see that the stressful feelings come from believing your thoughts. And when you put the thoughts aside for a moment and just be with the pure feelings, all is well.
Shining the Light on False Identities
If you’re suffering because you let others take advantage of you—or for any other reason—you’re living under a limiting and false identity that keeps you locked into relationships and patterns that aren’t working for you.
Deep acceptance of your present moment experience and the insights it brings is the opening you need. You start to recognize where your conditioning has taken hold—and how you can be more aligned with your true nature.
Wise Behavior Change
Accepting things as they are now, how can you shift to a more authentic way of being? You take bold and powerful steps infused with truth. This is wise behavior change.​​​
- You can let the stories go and welcome your feelings.​​​​​​​
- You can stay connected to your deepest desire to be free of conditioned habits that aren’t serving you.​​​​​​​
- You can practice saying no to requests that make you uncomfortable.​​​​​​​
- You can stay connected to yourself and what you really want rather than worrying about disappointing others.​​​​​​​
A Fresh Beginning
Acceptance isn’t a dead end—rather it’s a fresh beginning.
You may not like seeing how you’ve been stuck in programmed patterns or that you’ve made choices that don’t support your happiness. But when you accept, you are opening the path to a truth-based way of being.
Like an alcoholic getting sober, you get fed up with the pain of your conditioning and vow to find another way that feels better. And there always is one.
This path of truth is fierce. If we want to be happy, we need to be honest with ourselves.
​​​​​​​Acceptance of what is right now is the starting point to begin the realignment with truth.
Any comments or questions? I’d love to hear…
