Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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Archives for April 2017

Loving the Unknown

“It is both the work and the adventure of a lifetime to reclaim the only moment we ever really have, which is always this one.”
~Jon Kabat-Zinn

The voice of fear fills our minds with thoughts that project into the future and expect the worst. Should I or shouldn’t I? What if I do—or don’t? The imagination runs wild thinking of every negative scenario that could happen.

And the effect of these projections? You feel stuck, you limit yourself, or you resign yourself to playing it safe.

Your attention is captured in fear-infused thoughts, while you’re missing the beauty of what is real and alive right here and now.

Fear Fears the Unknown

At the core of every fear-filled thought is a desire to know what cannot be known. This desire manifests as an imagined negative, scary outcome.

  • I won’t find a job.
  • I’ll always be alone.
  • I’m afraid I’ll be rejected.
  • What if I fail?

Each of these common thoughts contains an assumption about what will happen in the future.

And here is the logical truth: you cannot know ahead of time what will happen. You either know that something is true because it has already occurred. Or it hasn’t occurred yet, and you don’t know what the outcome will be.

Fearful thoughts guess or assume the worst with no logical evidence. When you take these assumptions to be true, you end up anxious and paralyzed.

The Truth of Not Knowing

When it comes to fear, the most liberating statement you can make is, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know if I’ll find a job,” “I don’t know if I’ll always be alone.”

“I don’t know” opens the door to unlimited possibilities that the fearful mind can’t begin to contemplate.

Seeing the truth of the unknown is a healing balm for fearful thoughts. And here are the effects:

  • No more pressure to know what you can’t possibly know.
  • The end of “should”—what you should know or should be doing.
  • Infinite openness to all possibilities.

Living in the reality of the unknown brings your attention right into the present.

From Fear to Presence

Lose interest in the imagined, scary future, and you will discover:

  • The ability to focus on doing what needs to be done now
  • Appreciation and gratitude
  • Relaxation
  • Enjoyment
  • Acceptance
  • Wonder
  • Peace

The unknown is the truth, and the truth will set you free. Do you want to be free of the effects of fear? Say “Yes!” to not knowing. Savor the experience of saying, “I don’t know.”

Always in love,
Gail

PS: I had a delightful conversation with Lee Davy, creator of the Alcohol and Addiction Podcast. I think you’ll find it practical and helpful. Audio and video are available here.

Trust Yourself

trust yourself“There’s only one reason why you’re not experiencing bliss at this present moment, and it’s because you’re thinking or focusing on what you don’t have…. But, right now you have everything you need to be in bliss.”
~Anthony de Mello

You may not realize it, but your attention is your most valuable resource. Because what you pay attention to creates your reality.

Feel into these three possibilities for where your attention might go:

You’re walking in nature and focusing on the sounds of the birds and the sun glistening through the trees. You experience a peaceful presence, expanded beyond yourself and your problems.

You’re attached to your thoughts, hanging onto them for dear life by paying attention to them. You experience stress, negativity, worry, and the anxious feeling that things aren’t okay.

You’re caught up in the drama of a situation, feeling agitated and out of sorts. Your attention goes to statements like these:

  • What should we do??
  • I can’t believe he did that—again!
  • She’ll never get it together!
  • This situation is terrible!

Suffering Is Optional

I listen to people chewing on their problems a lot. And I do it myself from time to time.

What I always notice, without fail, is that we have a choice. I may be sitting with someone who is suffering, but I absolutely know that freedom from this suffering is one split second away—with a shift of attention.

I always hold the possibility for their freedom—and for yours. Even though you may not know it, I know that whatever suffering you’re experiencing is not who you really are.

Just because negative thoughts come through, you don’t have to think them. If you’re caught up in drama, know that your involvement in it is optional.

Trust Yourself

What happens when you open your attention beyond the thoughts and into the present moment? It might be scary at first because you don’t know what you’ll find. And the stillness may feel way outside your comfort zone.

But this is the only way to be sane in your life. Only by coming home to yourself can you love the tender feelings that are here so they don’t drive you. Only by being with yourself can you be objective about what’s going on and gain clarity.

There is infinite support available to you in any moment, but you won’t find it in your thoughts or other people.

Bring your attention back to yourself. Put your hand on your belly, breathe, and feel your feet on the floor. Be still, and open to everything. Experience the vibration of life moving through you.

Listen deeply for the whisper of truth that offers you just what you need to know. This can be trusted.