Archives for January 2014

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh

I love change. In fact, isn’t that what’s happening in every moment?

The unfolding of life is constantly fresh and new. It’s always overflowing with potential—letting an old story fall away, taking a breath instead of recycling an old habit, meeting someone you know with no baggage from the past, finally listening to yourself.

Every moment serving up the possibility of freedom from constricting beliefs and the tug of familiar emotions. Peace is the changeless ground of being, and change is celebration of the living reality of our everyday lives.

Goodbye, Hello

In the spirit of change, I am excited to announce that it’s time to say “goodbye” to A Flourishing Life and “hello” to new opportunities. Writing this blog for well over three years has been an amazing experience.

I am grateful for my connection with each of you, readers from around the world. I’ve grown as a writer and clarified the ways I communicate what I love the most: the conscious knowing of the deepest happiness, present moment living so tender and alive.

I am happy to say that the blog will continue, but it becomes part of a larger offering. I have written a book that will be published later this year (very exciting!). And the name change of this site—to GailBrenner.com—makes room for the blog, book, and other ways I might contribute.

The Way of Yes

The forthcoming book is called, “The Way of Yes: Finding Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life.” It offers a bridge between the common problems we experience in everyday life and the spiritual understanding that will set us free.

Yes, freedom from problems is possible. The inner critic? Feelings of inadequacy? Stuck in pain from the past? In the Way of Yes, we start where we are to discover that peace is right here—once we see through the habits of mind and feelings that hijack us.

We go from living the Way of No—rejecting, resisting, avoiding, pretending—to finding the Yes! in every moment. And I can tell you that the land of Yes! is infinitely peaceful, all-embracing, endlessly loving.

The book, “The Way of Yes” is a new presentation flowing through my heart to yours. Not a compilation of blog posts, it offers a very careful guide to realizing your true nature. We walk together from problems to real solutions, from the sense that you are broken to the knowing that you are already everything you ever wanted.

The book is being prepared for publication and will be available some time later this year. In April or May, I’ll launch a new website with a fresh design. And all along, I’ll continue to post regularly here at GailBrenner.com.

Living the Yes!

The past few months have been a time of tremendous opening for me. I’ve been shown so clearly the mindsets that held me back. And each time an old thinking pattern was revealed, I saw the fallacy of it. “I couldn’t finish such a large project.” “What if no one cares?” “What if everyone cares?” I could have let these thoughts deter me.

But instead, I took a stand in truth—every time. And now? No limits, no barriers. Every cell of my being is completely available to whatever happens.

Life is so generous in that it endlessly offers opportunities and drops them right at our feet. It takes a clear mind and open heart to notice and the willingness to live true to act. The mind can come up with an array of excuses and justifications—in my case, more than I was consciously aware of.

But in every moment, the call is the same: to say Yes! to life.

What About You?

Now, I’m wondering about you. Are you answering the call? What holds you back? How do you say Yes? And No? Please share in the comments below. Believe me, you are not alone in whatever you are struggling with, and sharing benefits everyone.

Reflecting on these questions is the beginning of lifting the veils. We tell the truth. We feel the pain of self-betrayal.

And we live in the exquisite boldness of a life fulfilled.

It doesn’t necessarily mean you will write a book or quit your day job. The bold action for you might be to meet a loved one undefended, to not check your email for the zillionth time, to spend the extra moment with someone who needs it. And to realize who you are when fear and deficiency are seen through—infinitely peaceful, powered by love.

When you get out of the way, life, bursting with infinite potential, is right here, waiting for your kind and patient attention.

Comments? Questions? I’d love to hear…

A note to subscribers: If you receive posts by email or RSS feed, you don’t need to do a thing—delivery will continue as is. My twitter name has changed to @GBGailBrenner, but everyone who was following has been transferred to the new account. And I’m working on Facebook—it’s more complicated. Technology! I’m becoming more of an expert than I ever thought was possible.

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“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”

~Eugene Ionesco

Who doesn’t want to be comfortable? I love it when I have everything I need, when I’m relaxed, when I’m sitting in a cozy chair and I feel at ease with the people I’m with. All is well.

But there is this imaginary place we call our “comfort zone,” and I’m wondering if it is really all that comfortable.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

Let’s explore this idea of a comfort zone to see if it is actually supporting you and your happiness. What is it exactly?

• It is not a real place. It is an idea created by you.
• Its function is to keep you feeling safe.
• It is what you know and are familiar with in all areas of your life—relationships, choices, how you spend your time—even thoughts patterns and feelings.
• It excludes things you are afraid of or uncomfortable with.

Your comfort zone doesn’t sound like a bad place to be—unless you are comfortable with disharmonious relationships you avoid working on, unfulfilling behavior patterns, resentments from the past, and beliefs about yourself and the world that limit you.

It’s about keeping the status quo. And what is the force behind it? Fear.

It’s All About Fear

If you have a comfort zone, you must also have a discomfort zone. And what’s out there in the discomfort zone? All those experiences you are afraid of. Consider these:

• Emotions you have been avoiding;
• Changes that seem risky;
• Potential and possibility that you aren’t allowing yourself to see;
• The unknown, outside of what you believe to be true;
• Ease with whatever life brings you;
• The freshness of life unfolding as it is.

Living in your comfort zone divides the whole of reality into areas that are acceptable and unacceptable. It is a mind-created, fear-based division that requires you to manage your life experience so you don’t stray into unfamiliar territory.

Although you stay safe, you draw imaginary lines in the totality of what is possible that keep you stuck, scared, and dissatisfied. Feeling worthless, small, or doubtful, spinning your wheels in old baggage, thinking of yourself as a victim, habits that don’t serve—these are the province of the comfort zone.

The comfort zone may be safe, but what does it deny? Enthusiasm, wonder, curiosity, and infinite possibility beyond the mind’s limits. Is it really that comfortable?

Out Beyond Comfort

If you want your experience to be different than it is, if you’re not happy, then you are being offered a golden invitation—to go outside your comfort zone and get to know discomfort.

Sometimes life throws us out there whether we want it or not. Your wife says she wants a divorce, tragedy strikes, you watch your child going down a troubled path, you win the lottery. These are life-changing experiences that shatter our ideas about how things should be and make us reconsider everything.

But you don’t need to wait for an extreme life event. Connect with your heart and see what you really want. I doubt you’re truly comfortable playing it safe.

So what to do? Get comfortable with discomfort.

Realize that staying in the comfort zone takes effort and vigilance. It resists what is. It hides from what is true. It makes you believe you are fraction of who you really are.

Step away from playing it safe, and you enter the world of possibility. You stop basing your life on what is false and instead tell the truth.

• Let yourself feel the fear that has been driving you, then don’t let it rule.
• Experience the emotions that underlie your compulsive habits. It’s the only way to be free of them.
• Have the hard conversations that you know will clean up your life. And it might be a conversation with yourself.
• Be willing to answer the call to leap into the unknown.
• Question every single way you define who you are to see if it is actually true.

You are welcome to stay in the comfort zone, if that is your preference. But be willing to tell the truth: is it really that comfortable?

Are you afraid of discomfort? Have you stepped out of your comfort zone? I’d love to hear…

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Note: Here is the video of a panel I moderated at the Science and Nonduality Conference. Topic is Spiritual Teaching, Psychotherapy, and the Quest for the Truth. Enjoy!