Dr. Gail Brenner

Sacred Space for Awakened Living

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Archives for February 2013

5 Delightful Ways to Live What You Already Know

“To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle. Every cubic inch of space is a miracle.”
~Walt Whitman

OK, let’s get serious. I know that you know, even if you don’t admit it to yourself. How could you not?

In your heart of hearts, in the deepest place within yourself, you know the truth. The truth of living from love, of being free of whatever holds you back, of fullness, well-being, and contentment. Why pretend you don’t know any longer?

You might be afraid to acknowledge and live this knowing. You might be diverted by thinking your life doesn’t measure up or you’ve been dealt a bad hand or you’re a prisoner to your to-do list.

But if you go within and tell the truth, you will find this seed of possibility and turn it into the living flesh-and-blood reality of your precious life.

All you need to do is start with this very moment, then the next and the next. Let the truth expand and be alive in you – in your choices, your priorities, and what you value most. Don’t worry about what others will think; you only need to answer to yourself.

But you’re not being selfish at all. Live what you already know. You are at peace, and everyone around you gets to bask in your glow.

None of these five truths will be news to you. You know them already more intimately than you could imagine. Is now the time to start living them?

Enjoyment

Is it so hard to enjoy yourself? Yes, things can be hard sometimes, but for the most part, it is easy to make the choice to enjoy.

  • You can be caught up in your mind about all the things you should do, or you can sit quietly and drink a cup of tea.
  • You can worry about your relationships, or you can let your heart open and offer a hug or kind word.
  • You can think about everything that is missing from your life, or you can go outside and take a walk.

Recognize when you’re not enjoying yourself, and see what other choices are available. What do you choose?

Appreciation

You already know how to appreciate whatever you are grateful for. Because at the purest level of the totality of life, nothing is separate. There is just the substance of life that includes everything and doesn’t resist or reject anything.

From this point of view, you see yourself everywhere. How could you not be grateful?

It’s part of our culture to appreciate – how many times a day do we say, “Thank you?” Next time you do, don’t just throw the words away by rote. Instead, feel the gratitude in your bones. Consciously experience the “thank you” for that favor, compliment, or overture of friendship.

Then simmer in gratitude. Don’t even think about it – simply contemplate the possibility of living in appreciation. With distracting mental chatter out of the way, it’s so easy to be grateful.

Savoring

Life is bursting at the seams in every moment in an amazing array of people, objects, sounds, sights, situations. Rather than judging what you experience by dividing it into right and wrong, acceptable and inadequate, try savoring things as they are.

Don’t be concerned about liking or disliking. Come out from behind the fog of any thinking and see things as if for the first time. Like an apple, for example. Use your senses to take it in. Taste and smell it. Hear the crunch. Savor the deliciousness of this apple moment.

Now savor the experience of everything – your home, your partner, doing the dishes, walking the dog, working.

Be present with what is as it is by not rejecting one iota of it. This is it. Right here. Your now moment.

Wholeness

You might think that you are deficient or damaged, but what you already know is that you are whole. You may have had life experiences that tricked you into believing that you are not OK. Is that really the truth?

Even if it’s just a whisper, you know that before any ideas of you, you are limitless, infinite, magnificent, so full you are overflowing. Something in you believes that this is true. Because it is.

What would it be like to live from wholeness? No more fear of rejection or pretending you are a victim. You realize that every moment offers opportunities that support happiness and well-being. And you are free to choose them.

Instead of pretending you are damaged, assume that you are whole. Then the world is your oyster.

Peace

You can choose to resist what is actually here in this moment, but you are going against the grain. Because you know that reality is already at peace with itself.

You don’t need to find inner peace. If you stop battling your own experience, peace is revealed, naturally. Stop running from your emotions or believing things would be better “if only,” and, effortlessly, peace will permeate your experience.

You have to work to be at war by thinking and resisting. Do you want to be peaceful? You don’t have to do one single thing except align your consciousness with things as they already are.

A blessed, effortless life is so available when you live what you already know. Surrender everything to enjoyment…appreciation…savoring…wholeness…peace. Wake up to the truth of yourself.

Do you live what you know in your heart of hearts? I’d love to hear…

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The Wisest Choice You Could Ever Make

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
~William James

All your personal troubles are due to one simple fact:  you engage with your conditioned habits.

Do you seek approval or limit yourself?  Are you stuck in doubt or self-critical thoughts?  Do you overeat, over-buy, overthink, overdo it in any area of your life?  Then you are interested in automatic, familiar ways of thinking and behaving.

And have you noticed? What you are interested in is what is expressed in your life.

If given the fuel to run, habits will take over, and you will end up feeling like a victim of your own life. Stuck like a hamster on a wheel and wondering why you’re not happy.

Touching vs. Not Touching

But here’s the good news:  you are not your habits.  You can identify with your habits and turn them into your reality – if you want to.  But you have another option because they are not the truth of who you are.

Who you are is free of fear, unlimited, magnificent, pregnant with possibility, infinitely full and alive.

So how to know this directly in your own experience?  What to do with habits that consume your interest and attention so you can uncover the splendor of you?

Don’t touch them.

When you touch something, you reach out toward it, you interact with it and become one with it.  It is your reality in that moment.

When you touch your habits, you give them your attention.  You think habitual thoughts and feel familiar feelings.  You experience an urge or tendency and you act on it. This is the definition of suffering.

The Fog of Habits

If you aren’t happy, you are touching your habits – a lot.

  • You get lost in a story of why you aren’t getting what you want.
  • You convince yourself that you are lacking.
  • You live in fear, guilt, sadness, or regret.
  • You behave in ways that you know don’t serve you.

Habits are flat, automatic, lifeless, repetitive, compulsive, agitating.  They stir up the moments of your life into swirls of stress and unhappiness.  Are you touching these tendencies with your attention?

The Art of Not Touching Habits

If you realize that you are touching habits – the ones that make you suffer – then here is your invitation:

  • A familiar thought beckons your attention.  Don’t touch it.
  • A feeling or desire comes over you.  Don’t touch it.
  • Your mind tries to justify the need to engage with the habit.  Don’t touch it.
  • A fascinating urge entices you.  Don’t touch it.

Not touching habits means that your attention rests in presence where you stay peaceful and unengaged, but totally alive. You are open and receptive, uninvolved with the arising and passing of thoughts and feelings.  You know that place in you that is not in resistance to anything.

Your reality is all about where your attention goes, and, amazingly, you get to decide.  You don’t need to get rid of or change one single thing.

When repetitive thoughts and feelings appear, let attention melt back into this now moment.  Do it a thousand or a million times.  Who cares?  You will always arrive in the same place.  This now moment that is so fresh, so effortlessly new.

And don’t worry.  You will function just fine without habits.  What you need will appear; this can be trusted.

Try it out – don’t touch your habits. It might be hard at first, scary even. But eventually you will notice that suffering diminishes and life becomes much less complicated. And here you are: peaceful, smiling, happy.

Are your habits drawing you in? What happens when you don’t touch them? I’d love to hear…

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